


What’s Meant To Be

by CAClassBeatsTXTrash



Category: Shefani
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-07-08 07:05:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15925361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CAClassBeatsTXTrash/pseuds/CAClassBeatsTXTrash
Summary: I got this idea a week ago let me know what you think.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea a week ago let me know what you think.

Gwen can’t believe she is doing this. She promised herself she would not put herself in a position for him to hurt her again. She used to love this man more than anything, she would have died for him and he threw her to the curb without a second thought.   
“You are doing this for Amara.”  
She told herself, as she drove up the long dirt road to the main house. This place looked like him rugged, private, and beautiful. She should have known he would live like this. She parked the car and walked up to the door and knocked. She waited a couple of minutes before knocking again. When he still didn’t answer she walked to the back of the house to see if she could see him. She noticed the barn door was opened and a couple of horses were in the pin. She walked closer hoping that meant he was there. She could hear him as she got closer.  
“That’s my girl, you just rest a little and you will be feeling better in no time.”  
She walked to the door and saw him brushing down one of the horse’s that was very noticeably pregnant. She looked at him and willed away the feelings that welled up inside of her. She thought she was past the hurt but seeing him brought it back. She took a deep breath and stepped inside the barn.  
“Blake”  
He stilled knowing her voice immediately; finally after a moment he turned to her.  
“Gwen?”  
“I know you didn’t expect to see me but I really need to talk to you.”  
“What could you possibly have to say that I would want to hear? You left five years ago without a word and never looked back.”  
“I didn’t have any reason to stay, and it was five and a half years ago.”  
It still hurt to hear her say he wasn’t a good reason to stay.  
“What do you want Gwen?”  
“I need to talk to you, it a matter of life and death.”  
“Let’s go inside.”  
They walked in the house set down in the living room. She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes.  
“I need you to get tested as a possible bone marrow match.”  
He looked at her in shock. Of all the possible things see could have said this was the last thing he expected. He knew bone marrow meant cancer, and no matter how much she had hurt him the thought of her sick bothered him deeply.  
“You have cancer?”  
“It’s not me, it’s our daughter, she has Leukemia.”  
“Our daughter?”  
He asked in shock. How could they have a child? How could she have denied him the chance to know his child just because she didn’t want him anymore?”  
“Yes, sorry the baby was a girl and even though you didn’t want her I couldn’t get rid of her.”  
“Gwen you are making no sense right now.”  
“Ok, Ill start from the beginning. When she was just over three years old she was diagnosed with Leukemia. We went through all the treatments and she went into remission. About three months ago we found out it was back, and she is not responding as well to the treatment this time. The doctor said we need to do a bone marrow transfer. That’s her best chance at recovery and not relapsing. I’m not a match and I need you to get tested and see if you can save her.”  
“Woah”  
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but…”  
He interrupted her  
“Of course I will do it.”  
“Really?”  
“Why do you act shocked, she’s my daughter. A daughter that thanks to you I have lost five years with.”  
She could hear the venom in his voice. She wanted to come back at him that it was his fault he didn’t know her. What did he expect when he told her to get rid of it? She kept that to herself she couldn’t afford to fight with him; she needed him too much right now.  
“She’s really bad off isn’t she? That’s the only thing that would make you come here.”  
“She’s a fighter, we are going to start a new treatment next week that she will hopefully respond to better, but even if it works without a transplant the doctor feels she will be fighting her whole life.”  
“I want to meet her, where is she?”  
“She’s in LA with my parents.”  
“Is that where you went when you left?’  
“Yes, I finished design school there, and started working for a fashion label. My parents moved too, they wanted to be near the baby and Todd planned to go to school there too so it made sense.”  
“I can have a plane ready in an hour and we can go.”  
“Blake I’m glad you are going to do this, and I understand you wanting to meet her, but I need to know what we are going to tell her so I can prepare her for whatever. I can’t have her getting hurt in this.”  
“What do you mean what we are going to tell her. We are going to tell her, I’m her dad and I’m going to be a part of her life no matter what you say.”  
“Really?”  
“Why do you act so shocked that I want to be a part of her life?”  
“You didn’t want the baby, so why would I think you would change your mind.”  
“I don’t know what you are talking about oh course I would have wanted my child.”  
“I’m so confused right now Blake, I’m not sure what happened when I left but I can’t worry about that right now. Right now we have to concentrate on our daughter.”  
“Agreed, like I said I can have the plane ready to go in an hour.”  
“Why don’t we wait until tomorrow that will give me time to talk to her and let her know you are coming to see her? “  
He was anxious to see her, but he agreed that he needed to do what was best for her.  
“Ok, I will come by and pick you up at 9 where are you staying?”  
“The hotel on Elm, but Blake I can drive I have to turn in the rental car.”  
“Ill have someone come by and get it and drop it off for you.”  
“That’s not necessary we are going to the airport anyway.”  
“No, we are going to a private airstrip where my plane is.”  
“You have your own plane?”  
“Yes, it’s easier with business to be able to travel when I need to.”  
“Ok tomorrow we will fly to LA and you can meet Amara.”  
“What is she like?”  
“She is beautiful and she loves to sing and dance and watch movies. She is funny she loves to tell joke, and her laugh melts your heart. She is so smart too, she is supposed to start Kindergarten this year but with the treatments, mom is going to home school her so she won’t get behind.”  
Gwen picked up her phone and showed him a picture.  
“This is her.”  
Blake looked at the little girl in the picture, she had short dark curly hair and blue eyes the color of his. He could see the dimples that reminded him of his.  
“She’s beautiful.”  
Gwen smiled her heart so full of love for her little girl.  
“She looks so much like you.”  
Blake stared at the picture for a moment  
“It’s amazing that I never knew she existed but I already love her.”  
“Here let me get your number and I will send you some pictures of her.”  
She took his number and sent the pictures and a video of her singing. Then she left to give him some time to process everything that had happened. She also needed to get away, and think too. She didn’t understand what had happened five and a half years ago. He told her to get rid of the baby and to leave him alone, but the man she saw today seem angry that he had lost this time with his baby.   
She called her mom as when she got back to her room.  
“Hey honey have you seen him yet?”  
“Yes, he agreed to be tested.”  
“Thank God.”  
“He wants to meet Amara, he is coming back with me tomorrow.”  
“How do you feel about that?”  
“I don’t know mom, something weird is going on.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“He sent me away five and a half years ago not wanting either of us and now he is acting like I kept her from him all this time.”  
“You need to talk to him; I told you that at the time you needed to see him face to face. The Blake we knew and loved wouldn’t have been that cruel. Something else was going on.”  
“Mom I can’t do this right now. I have to concentrate on Amara.”  
“Ok do you want to talk to her?”  
“Yes, but mom can you tell her what is happening? I don’t want to tell her over the phone.”  
“Of course I will, let me get her for you, I love you.”  
“Love you too mom.”  
Blake set in his living room watching the video Gwen had sent him for an hour before he decided he needed to go finish taking care of the horses. He had so much going through his head right now. He had a daughter, and she was sick. What if she didn’t make it? What if he never got a chance to make up for all the time Gwen had stolen from him with her? What if when he meets her she doesn’t like him? He hated that he had to wait till tomorrow to see her, but he also didn’t want to do anything that might hurt her. By the time he finished with the horses he figured he needed to call his mom.   
“Hey baby what’s up?”  
“I need to talk to you.”  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Gwen came to see me today.”  
“Did something happen?”  
“She came to tell me I have a daughter, who is sick. She has Leukemia”  
“OMG Blake, how bad is it.”  
“I don’t know, but the doctor said she needs a bone marrow transplant.”  
“How are you?”  
“I don’t know, I’m scared that she won’t make it, but I love her already.”  
“Of course you do she’s your baby.”  
“How could she keep her from me?”  
“I don’t know, but this doesn’t sound like the Gwen I remember.”  
“You mean the one that broke my heart and left me.”  
“Blake that’s not fair, the way she did it was wrong, but you don’t know the rest of the story because you refused to call her like I told you too.”  
Blake didn’t want to fight with his mom.  
“I’m going to LA tomorrow with her so I can meet her.”  
“Good baby tell her she has a grandma that loves her and can’t wait to meet her.”  
“Can you ask Mike if he can keep an eye on the place while I’m gone?”  
“Of course we will, you stay as long as you need to.”  
“Thanks mom.”  
“If you need anything you call me, and Blake can you please send me pictures of her.”  
“Ill send you the ones Gwen sent me, can you call Endy and Dad and let them know. I don’t really feel like talking.”  
“Of course son, I love you”  
“Love you too.”  
The next morning he arrived at the hotel to pick up Gwen. She looked at him surprised when he guided her to the helicopter.  
“It’s quicker her told her.”  
The flight was uneventful, they didn’t really talk much. They were both lost in their own thoughts. When they landed Gwen guided him to her car.  
“It’s a twenty minute drive to my house. Mom and dad are there with her.”  
“Ok”  
When the car stopped he got out and walked to the front door with Gwen.   
“Are you ready?”  
“Im terrified.”  
“Relax she will love you.”  
He walked in the house behind her ready to meet his daughter for the first time.


	2. Bonding

When they walked in the house they could hear Amara and Denise in the living room. Every nerve in Blake’s body was on edge. He walked around the corner and saw her smiling at her grandfather. She was even more beautiful than her pictures. She saw Gwen and came running to her.  
“Momma I missed you”  
“I missed you too baby girl.”  
She pulled back from Gwen and looked at Blake.  
“You’re my dad?”  
He nodded and said  
“Yes.”  
She went to him giving him a hug. When his arms went around her he couldn’t help the tears falling from his eyes. Gwen looked at the two of them and felt guilty for all the time they had lost with each other. Maybe her mother was right maybe she should have given him another chance to accept their child.  
“Amara why don’t you show Blake your room and maybe you can spend some time just the two of you before lunch.”  
“Ok”  
She turned to Blake  
“Follow me Blake”  
She watched as they disappeared down the hall.   
“How are you holding up?”  
“I’m ok, obviously things are strained with me and him, but he does seem to truly care about her. At this point I’m just taking it one day at a time.”  
“He agreed to get tested, that’s a good thing.”  
“Yeah, I need to call the doctor and see when we can set that up.”  
When they got to Amara’s room she asked him if he wanted to play with her. Sitting on the floor in his little girl’s room playing dolls was something he never pictured doing, but right now in this moment it was the only thing he wanted to do. She showed him how to rock the baby and change it. He feed her and put her down for a nap. They talked about her favorite movies; she loved princesses and horses.  
“I have some horses; maybe someday soon you can come to Oklahoma and ride them.”  
“Yes, please I want to ride one, momma only lets me ride with her, and Uncle Todd. I want to ride by myself like she did when she was little.”  
“You will one day, I promise.”  
“Did you ride when you were little?”  
“I sure did, your grandpa Dick had Richie, Endy, and me on a horse as soon as we could sit up in the saddle.”  
“Who are Richie and Endy?”  
“My brother and sister, so they would be you Uncle and Aunt.”  
“Do I get to meet them?”  
“You get to meet your Aunt Endy, but Richie died a long time ago.”  
“Oh, was he sick like me?”  
“No sweetheart he wasn’t. He was in a car accident.”  
Amara got up and walked over to Blake sitting in his lap and giving him a hug.  
“Can you read me a story?”  
“I sure can”  
Amara got up and walked over to her book shelf and picked a Cinderella book. She set back down in Blake’s lap as he read to her. This is how Gwen found them.  
“Hey you two it’s time for lunch.”  
“Can daddy sit by me?”  
Gwen smiled at her  
“Of course he can.”  
Amara hurried off to the kitchen.  
“I guess it went well.”  
“I went from Blake to daddy so I’d say it went well.”  
“I’m glad”  
After lunch Denise and Patty went home. Amara started to get tired so Gwen put her down for a nap.  
“I called the doctor while you were upstairs earlier, they can do the test tomorrow.”  
“Great the sooner we do the sooner we can do the transplant.”  
“We need to talk about Amara.”  
“Is there another problem?”  
“No not a problem, but I think we can both admit that the lives we were living have changed now. I think we need to discuss how we are going to proceed.”  
“What do you mean proceed?”  
“With Amara, I want to know what we tell her about how involved you are going to be. I don’t want her hurt.”  
“I would never hurt her. I am going to be the best father to her I can. I know that over time we will have to work some things out geographically, but for now I am staying in LA to be with her.”  
“Can you get away from work that long?”  
“I can stay as long as I need to. I have a couple of hired hands to help on the ranch; I’ll have Mike look to hire a couple more. How long does she usually nap?”  
“It depends anywhere from an hour to three since she has been sick again.”  
“While she is sleeping I need to call a cab and go find a hotel. I’d like to come back to see her tonight too.”  
“Blake you don’t have to go to a hotel you can stay with us. I have a spare room it will give you and Amara more time together.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes, there is no reason for you to run up a hotel bill when we don’t know how long you will be here.”  
“I’m not worried about the hotel bill, but I’d love to stay here and be close to Amara.”  
“Ok it’s settled I’ll show you the room and you can get settle while she sleeps.”  
The evening went smooth Blake and Amara spent the time getting to know one another better and playing. Gwen used the time to do some work, she had been very fortunate with her job. They allowed her to work from home which allowed her to take care of Amara and get her to and from appointments, she had great medical benefits, and mostly it allowed her to skip the added expense of daycare.  
After Amara went to bed things got a little awkward. Blake stayed in the living room watching TV while she worked but there was tension in the room. After thirty minutes Blake turned to Gwen.  
“Gwen if I’m going to stay here we have to work something out so it doesn’t feel so awkward between us.”  
“We did fine all day.”  
“That was when Amara was with us; we need to find a middle ground for when she’s not.”  
“Blake so much has happened in the last five and a half years. Some of it doesn’t even make sense right now, but can we try to put that behind us and try to be friends for Amara?”  
“I’d like that; we are going to be spending a lot of time together.”  
Gwen shut down her computer and put her work away.   
“So what have you been up to?”  
“I run the ranch now; I also have a restaurant in town. Nothing too fancy, but it’s a place I can go play guitar and sing when I want to. What about you?”  
“I work for a design firm, other than that my time is spent taking care of Amara.”  
“No one you’re seeing?”  
“No, I honestly don’t have time. Between work and Amara I stay on the go. The design firm is great though, I can work from mostly so I’m able to be with her when I need to.”  
Blake’s heart went out to her. He knew it must have been rough on her doing this on her own, but then he reminded himself that was her choice. He would have been her with her if she had told him.  
“You don’t have to do it alone anymore; I will be here for Amara.”  
“Thank you. So what about you? Are you seeing anyone?”  
“Not at the moment.”  
He wasn’t going to tell her that none of his relationships worked out because no one measured up to her. He wouldn’t give her that satisfaction.  
“How are you parents and Endy?”  
“They are good, Endy just got married a couple of years ago. She is expecting a baby in a couple of months.”  
“That’s great. I miss them so much. Endy and I talked a little when we I first moved.”  
“It is getting late and it’s been a long day. I’m going to go up to bed now.”  
“Good Night Blake”  
“Night”

They had to be at the hospital at nine for the test. They dropped Amara off at Gwen’s parents’ house, promising to pick her up as soon as they were done. She had a treatment this afternoon so they were going to go to the park and lunch before going back to the hospital.  
Gwen declared it a hospital miracle; they were in and out for the test. The technician told them the doctor would have the results in a couple of days. They left and headed straight for her parents’ house to get Amara. On the way Gwen thought it might be best to try and warn him what to expect from the treatment.  
“When we get there this afternoon they will take Amara to the back and get her hooked up to the treatment. They will come and get us and we can go back and sit with her while get gets it.”  
“Ok”  
“I just want you to be prepared for it. She will be hooked up to some machines, and will have several tubes coming out of her. She can talk but she has to lie there the whole time. It takes about forty-five minutes, and then they have her rest there for another thirty to make sure she is ok. After that we can take her home. She should be ok most of tonight, but she doesn’t always have a big appetite. Tomorrow can be a rough day. So far this time hasn’t been too bad, but last time she got so sick the next day or two.”  
“It sounds awful.”  
“It is, cancer it a horrible thing, but in a child its worse. We just have to hold it together for Amara.”  
“I can do anything for her.”  
They rode the rest of the way in silence. She came running out to meet them as they walked up the drive way.  
“Mommy! Daddy!”  
Gwen leaned down and scoped her up for a hug, before she went to Blake wanting a hug from him too. Gwen couldn’t believe how fast she had attached herself to him, she was glad for both of them. She just hopped after Blake went back to Oklahoma and she didn’t see him as much that she would understand, that he loved her, but he had a life somewhere else.  
They went to the park where she ran and played with both Blake and her. Gwen loved times like this, times when Amara could be a kid, and have fun like all the other boys and girls her age. Sadly so much of her short life had been spent in hospitals or playing inside.   
“Mommy can we take a selfie?”  
“Sure we can baby girl”  
Gwen pulled her phone out  
“Come on Daddy we are taking a selfie.”  
Blake knew what a selfie was but he didn’t understand the obsession with them. After Gwen snapped the picture he turned to ask her.  
“Does she take a lot of selfies?”  
“She loves them so yes we take a lot of selfies.”  
He shook his head, he still didn’t get it, but he was not going to question it. If his daughter wanted to take selfies he would take one with her anytime.  
They went to Amara’s favorite restaurant for lunch; they were walking out to the car when his phone rang.  
“It’s my mom, I should take this I haven’t talked to her since we left Oklahoma.”  
“Ok, we will walk ahead to the car.”  
“Hey mom”  
“How is my granddaughter? Is she as beautiful in person as her picture? How did it go when you met her? When do I get to meet her? ..”  
“Woah mom slow down, first she is wonderful, and she is even more beautiful. We are getting along great; she started calling me daddy the first day.”  
“Oh honey that’s wonderful”  
“Yeah it is, as for when you can meet her I’m not sure. She has a treatment today and we should get the results of my test in a day or two so we can schedule the surgery. I don’t think a trip is going to work out for her right now.”  
“Can I come see her soon maybe?”  
“I think she would love it. I will talk to Gwen and get back with you on a good time, when she doesn’t have a treatment.”  
“Ok honey, tell her I love her and can’t wait to meet her.”  
“I will mom.”  
When they got to the hospital, Gwen signed Amara in and they set down in the waiting room. After a few minutes Amara was taken to the back. Gwen could tell Blake was nervous.  
“They take really good care of her. The nurses do an excellent job of getting her set up and making sure she’s ok. She will be ok, I promise.”  
“Thanks, my mom would like to come meet Amara. I told her I would get with you and we could find a time when she isn’t having treatment. She would like to do it before we do the transplant surgery.”  
“Oh course, she gets her treatment every two weeks, always on a Wednesday. If she wants to come on Sunday or Monday after that she should fine. She can stay with us.”  
Just then the nurse came out to get them. As he stood at the entrance of the door, he was sure he was not ready to see his baby girl like this. Gwen looked at him.  
“Are you ready?”  
“No, but let’s do this.”


	3. Chemo

When they got to the room Amara was laying on the bed with all the machines Gwen had described to him. She was smiling talking to one of the nurses. Blake had tried to prepare himself, he knew it was going to be horrible seeing her like this, but nothing could prepare him to watch his baby girl like this. Her whole face lit up and he smile got bigger when she saw them.  
“This is my Daddy nurse Sarah.”  
“The nurse turned to look at Blake nice to meet you, you have one pretty special little girl here. She was telling me all about meeting you.”  
“Yes she is, It’s nice to meet you too Sarah.”  
The nurse turned to Gwen, giving her a big smile.  
“Hey Gwen, we are ready to get started.”  
They each had a set next to the bed as the machines were started  
“I’ll come back in a few minutes to check on her.”  
Nurse Sarah told them as she left the room.  
“Daddy has a surprise for you baby girl.”  
“You do?”  
She asked looking at Blake. Blake looked at Gwen confused before he realized what she was talking about.  
“Your grandma Dot is coming to see you,”  
“Your mommy?”  
“Yeah my mommy”  
“When is she coming?”  
“It’s not final when, but I’d say she will be here Sunday.”  
She looked at Blake  
“Will she like me?”  
“Princess she is loves you already. I showed her a video of you singing and some pictures of you.”  
She looked over at Gwen  
“Do you know my other grandma?”  
“Yes sweetie I do. You are going to love her, she is wonderful.”  
Gwen told her remembering how much she loved Dot. It hit her in that moment how much the woman was going to hate her. She had kept her granddaughter from her.   
“She loved your mom.”  
“When do I get to meet my other Grandpa and Aunt Endy?”  
“Hopefully soon, and then when you are all better you can come to Oklahoma, and meet the rest of the family.”  
“And I can ride a horse by myself.”  
“Yes you can ride by yourself; we will get you your very own horse.”  
“Thank you Daddy!”  
Amara shouted getting excited.  
“Amara honey calm down, you know you have to be calm during your treatment.”  
“Ok Mommy.”  
“Sorry I didn’t mean to get her wound up.”  
“It’s ok Blake, although I’m not sure she should be riding a horse by herself this young.”  
Blake looked at her with a sarcastic grin.  
“You mean like you did?”  
She stared back at him, knowing exactly what he was doing.  
“We will talk about this later.”  
After her treatment they took her home.   
“She usually gets tired after her treatment, so we watch a movie on the couch so she can rest.”  
“That sounds like a plan.”  
“Do you mind doing it alone? It would give me a chance to get some work done, with the trip and everything I need to work when I can.”  
“Oh course Gwen”  
When Gwen came in the room three hours later they were on their second Disney Princess movie.  
“How are you feeling baby girl?”  
“Good”  
“Are you enjoying the movie Blake?”  
“I’m enjoying time with my princesses”  
“I’m going to go start dinner”  
“Do you need some help?”  
“No you stay here with her, I’ll be ok.”  
By the time they had finished eating dinner they could tell Amara was not doing well. She wasn’t her cheerful sweet self. Blake thought she was tired from her treatment and just needed some sleep, but Gwen knew it was more than that. She knew that her baby was going to have a rough time; she had been through this so many times before.   
“Why don’t you take her into the living room and let her lie down on the couch while I clean up.”  
“You cooked, Ill clean.”  
“You don’t have to.”  
“Gwen it’s not right for you to do all the work. If I’m going to be staying here I need to do my share.”  
“Thank you”  
She turned to Amara  
“Come on baby girl let’s go lie down on the couch and watch some T.V. while daddy cleans up.”  
“Ok”  
Gwen picked Amara up and carried her to the living room.   
Blake was just finishing in the kitchen when heard the commotion in the living room. He went to check on them and saw Gwen holding a bucket under Amara while she threw up. Blake ran over to help.  
“Hey princess everything is going to be ok.”  
He pulled her hair back from her face and looked at Gwen who was covered in puke.   
“Are you ok?”  
“Yeah, Ill be fine.”  
After a couple more minutes of heavy breathing and gagging Amara set up.   
“Come on baby let’s get you cleaned up.”  
“Ill take care of her, so you can clean yourself up.”  
“Thank you”  
Blake picked her and headed to the bathroom.  
“It hurts daddy”  
“What hurts princess?”  
“All of me.”  
“I’m sorry baby, let’s get you cleaned up and see if you feel better.”  
Blake helped her into the bath and cleaned her up. He washed her hair, being as gentle as he could, she would moan in pain. It broke his heart to hear her this way.  
“I’m sorry, I know your mom is better at this than me.”  
When she was clean he wrapped her in a towel and picked her up to carry her to her room to get her dressed. He was half way there when she threw up again. He turned around and carried her back to the bath room to clean her up. Fortunately this time she had not gotten all over herself just on him and the floor. He held her hair while she leaned over the toilet until she was done. When she finished he helped he rinse out her mouth and wash her face before taking his vomit covered shirt off. He started down the hall to her room when Gwen came out of her room.   
“How is she?”  
“She’s clean, but she threw up again, and she feels really bad.”  
“Is that what happened to your shirt?”  
“Yeah, and the floor. If you don’t mind getting her dressed Ill clean up this mess.”  
“Ok”  
He put Amara down on her bed and walked out of the room. Gwen watched him leave; five years and a broken heart had not changed the way she felt when she saw him. He never realized how hot and sexy he was. Seeing him without his shirt did things to her she hadn’t expected. Gwen turned back to her daughter and got her dressed for bed.   
“How are you feeling sweet heart?”  
“I hurt mommy.”  
“I know baby, where do you hurt the most.”  
“all of me hurts the most.”  
“why don’t you try to get some rest and I will sit here with you.”  
“ok”  
Amara closed her eyes to try and sleep. Gwen knew it would more than likely be a long night with neither of them getting much rest. When Blake came back in he found her sitting on the edge of the bed watching their daughter sleep.  
“How is she?”  
“She is resting for now.”  
“Good hopefully she will sleep through the night.”  
“She might, but usually when she gets this sick so soon after it means she is going to have a rough time.”  
Blake set down on the bed looking at his little princes. He couldn’t bear the thought of her in that much pain.  
“What can we do for her?”  
“Unfortunately not much, we just sit with her and make sure she takes in any liquid that she will.”  
“Why don’t you go try to get some rest while she is sleeping?”  
“I’ll be ok Blake; I have been through a lot of nights like this.”  
“You need to take care of yourself; you don’t have to do this alone anymore.”  
She thought for a minute looking at her sweet baby girl laying there.   
“Ok, Ill go try and relax for a little bit. Call me if you need me?”  
“Ok”  
Blake set there watching Amara sleep for about an hour before she started waking up.  
“Hey princess”  
“I hurt daddy.”  
“I know, if daddy could take your pain away I would.”  
“Will you lay down with me?”  
Blake didn’t hesitate, he lay down on her bed beside her his feet hanging off the end. He scooted as close to her as possible without moving her. The last thing he wanted was to cause his baby girl any more pain. They were like this for a little while before she started to feel sick again.  
“Daddy, I don’t feel good”  
He set up quickly getting the waste basket from beside her bed for her. Luckily this time he got it to her so that neither of them had any puke on them. When she finished he carried her to the bathroom to wash her mouth. He carried her back to her room where he set down in the rocking chair in the corner and held her close to him. Gwen came in the room thirty minutes later to find them this way.  
“I came to give you a break.”  
“I’m ok, I can’t leave her right now.”  
“Remember what you told me, you have to take care of yourself.”  
“I will, but right now I need to be with her.”  
Gwen knew exactly how he felt. He had never seen her like this, and it was hard watching your child like this and know there is nothing you can do to stop it.  
The rest of the night and the next day were some of the worse hours of Blake’s life. Amara was either throwing up, or moaning in pain most of the time. Gwen and him were there with her the entire time. Finally by late afternoon she was starting to feel better.  
“Thank God she is feeling better.”  
“Yeah she should be fine now, why don’t you go get a couple of hour’s sleep, since you refused last night.”  
He opened his mouth to object, but then decided she was right.  
“Ok”  
Blake walked into his room and stripped off his shirt and pants, before falling into bed. He was asleep the minute his head hit the pillow. He didn’t budge again until Gwen knocked on the door.  
“Blake, dinner is almost ready and Amara wants to make sure you don’t miss it.”  
Gwen told him sticking her head in the door. He set up the covers falling so that she could tell all he was wearing were his boxer briefs. The sight of him like that caused a heat to start in the bottom of her belly. She pushed away the memories of how things had been between them.   
“Ok, I’ll be there in just a minute.”  
“Ok”  
When he got to the kitchen Amara was setting the table with the plates and silver ware. They set down to eat.  
“We are having Chicken and French fries because your daughter told me that’s all she thinks she can eat right now.”  
Blake chuckled.  
“Sounds legit”  
After dinner they watched a movie together before putting Amara to bed.  
“I think we deserve a piece of chocolate cake. My mom dropped it off this morning when she stopped by. I didn’t want to say anything in from of Amara giving her stomach a little more rest before she had any.”  
“Sounds great”  
They set down in the kitchen eating their cake.  
“Your moms chocolate cake was always the best.”  
“I remember one time Todd asked her to make it and she told him he didn’t need that much sugar all the time, but then made it because you were coming for dinner.”  
Blake laughed  
“He got so made, I told him he shouldn’t be surprise she liked me more.”  
They both laughed thinking of old times. Finally Blake turned serious and looked at Gwen.  
“What happened five and a half years ago?”


	4. What Happened?

Gwen had been putting of this conversation. She didn’t know where it was going to go, but she was too tired to think quickly. She opened her mouth and let the truth come out.   
“What do you mean what happened? You told me you didn’t want me or the baby and to get rid of it?”  
Blake looked at her stunned.  
“What the hell are you talking about? I never knew about a baby, I was never given the chance to be a father to her until you needed something.”  
“I have the letter.”  
“What letter?”  
“The letter you left at my place. The one where you told me we were threw.”  
Blake didn’t know what was going on, but he was sure as hell going to find out.  
“Can I see the letter?”  
“I’ll go get it.”  
Blake set at the table while Gwen went to retrieve the letter. She returned a few minutes later and handed him a piece of paper. He opened the letter and began to read.

Gwen,  
I know about the baby, I’m not at a place in my life where I want to take on a child. Please make the right decision and have an abortion. I have spent some time reflecting on everything and this has made me realize that we do not work anymore. I don’t want to hurt you, but I cannot do this anymore. Please don’t try to contact me It will only make things harder on you and will not change my mind  
Blake

He looked up from the letter horrified by what he was reading.  
“I didn’t write this, I have never seen this letter before.”  
“What?”  
“Gwen I don’t know who would do this but when I find out I am going to kill them.”  
“If you didn’t write it Blake then how come you never called me again?”  
“I got a letter too from you, or what I thought was you.”  
“What did it say?”  
“That you couldn’t pretend things were ok with us anymore and that you wanted more out of life than I could give you.”  
“Why would someone do this? Who could have been so heartless?”  
Gwen was almost in tears at this point. She was heartbroken that Blake had spent all this time thinking she told him he wasn’t good enough. She was also heartbroken that Amara missed out on having him in her life for five years.   
“Who knew you were pregnant?”  
“At that point no one, I hadn’t said anything to anyone.”  
“Then who could have known to put that in the letter?”  
“Wait a minute I bumped into Kenyetta at the drug store when I purchased the test.”   
“Kenyetta?”  
“Yeah, it was weird because I had gone to a store in the next county so no one would see me. You know how small towns are.”  
“But why would she have done that neither of us really interacted with her.”  
“After you let Kenyetta came by to tell me she had heard we broke up and let me know she was there for me. I never thought about it till now but there were a few times after that she tried to let me know she was interested. She even showed up at a bar I was at a couple of times and needed a ride home. She asked me to help her inside each time.”  
Blake just shook his head he couldn’t believe it, but it was making sense now.  
“You never ended up with her?”  
“No, I never did, but when I see her Im going to kill her.”  
“Does she still work for your dad?”  
“Yeah, but not for much longer if I have anything to say about it.”  
“This is too much and Im exhausted, maybe we should both get some sleep.”  
“Yeah we probably should.”  
Gwen went to her room and Blake the bathroom for a shower. Hoping to clear his head some, when that didn’t work he hoped a good night’s sleep would do the trick. He lay in bed awake for a while tossing and turning. His mind trying to wrap around what he had learned tonight. Gwen had never left him, she had not stopped loving him then. He had been robbed for 5 years with his daughter because of someone his father thought of as a trusted employee. Gwen thought he didn’t want her or their baby. He imagined what their life would be like today if he had known. They would be married for sure; they had been talking about that anyway. Amara would have still gotten sick but she would have had both her parents there with her plus grandparents, other relatives. He wondered if they would have had another baby. A little brother for Amara, and son to carry on the family name.   
He was so angry Kenyetta had robbed them of the life they should have had and now it was too late to go back. He could never get those years back with them. He planned to call his dad first thing in the morning. If he saw that woman again he was afraid of what he might do. He finally dozed off to sleep, grateful for the chance to forget about the turmoil his life was in right now.  
Down the hall Gwen was crying in her bed. Crying for the life she had lost, crying for the man that she had loved with all her heart, body, and soul, crying for the what ifs. She blamed herself for part of it. She should have listened to her mother when she told her to call him, that this was not the Blake they all knew and loved. She finally cried herself to sleep.  
The next morning Amara woke up with happy, running to get her mommy to get her breakfast. Gwen got up, and went to the kitchen to get her something.  
“What do you want baby girl?”  
“Pancakes”  
Blake walked in the kitchen then and yawned. His hair was a mess and his eyes no all the way open.  
“Good Morning?”  
He said to them both his dimple making his face look even sexier.  
“Good Morning Daddy, We are having Pancakes.”  
“We are?”  
“You know Amara your daddy use to make the best pancakes, I bet if we ask nicely he would make them for us today.”  
“Please daddy, will you make us some pancakes?”  
She said looking at him with her big blues eyes and wondered if he would ever be able to tell her no about something.  
“How can I turn down my princess.”  
Blake made the pancakes, while Gwen made coffee for them and poured Amara a glass of milk. The conversation was lite, nothing serious. Blake was glad the conversation from last night hadn’t created an atmosphere that Amara would pick up on.  
“Blake these are amazing, mine never turned out as good as yours no matter how many times you tried to teach me.”  
“It’s a gift.”  
Blake shrugged with a grin.  
“Daddy you have to make the pancakes from now on for us, Mommy will make the other stuff because she cooks it really good for me.”  
“Deal”  
“In case you couldn’t tell pancakes are her favorite.”  
After breakfast Gwen went to her office at home to get some work done, while Blake spent the morning with Amara. She came out for lunch and they set down together. Gwen loved having this family time sitting at the table eating together. She warned herself no to get to use to it, he would have to go back to Oklahoma one day.  
After putting Amara down for a nap Blake walked down the hall to Gwen’s office and knocked on the door.  
“Come in”  
“Do you have some time for us to talk?”  
“About?”  
Afraid she already knew the answer. She wasn’t sure she was ready to talk about everything.  
“Us, what happened; I wanted to do it when Amara wasn’t around. I don’t think she should hear any of it right not.”  
He was right she knew it they needed to finish this conversation so they could both move past it without their daughter being impacted.  
“Ok, let’s talk.”  
Blake walked into the room but didn’t sit down. He looked around at her office, it had a desk in the corner but she was on the Chaise lounge in front of the window curled up with her sketch pad. He had seen her like this so many times before; she always loved to sketch designs.   
“This is weird; I know we need to talk, but I’m not sure how to start.”  
“I know me either,”  
“I can’t believe everything fell apart over a lie.”  
“It makes me so angry that we lost the future that was supposed to be ours. You lost five years with your daughter; we went through her first diagnosis alone. There were so many times I had wished you were here with me. The you that I had fallen in love with, not the man I thought you had become. You always made me feel like I could get through anything. “  
She went from yelling to crying. He hated to see her cry. He went to where she was standing now and pulled her close to him.   
As he held her in his arms, he made the decision that he was going to fight for his family. Things may have happened to tear them apart, but he was going to make sure he put them back together. He knew she might not want that, but he didn’t care how long it took he would make her see that they are still right for each other.  
She pulled away from him.   
“Im sorry”  
“Don’t be”  
“I just can’t believe how one little lie stole our future from us, and we can’t go back and change it.”  
“Maybe we can.”   
She looked up at him confused  
“We can’t change what happened, but we can still have the life we were meant to have.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Gwen I never stopped loving you no matter how mad I was about what I thought you did. I can see it in your eyes, you still love me too.”  
She couldn’t deny it, she did love him  
“Is that enough? We have two different lives now, can we make them work?”  
“I think we can, there will be sacrifices we will both have to make, but if you’re willing to try I am.”  
She looked at him and knew the answer to that question she would do anything to have this man by her side. She smiled and leaped into his arms throwing hers around him.  
“Yes Yes Yes”  
He held her tight their mouths finding each other’s. The kiss was hot and hungry five and a half years of want in it. When they finally broke apart they were both out of air.  
“I love you Blake”  
“I love you Gwen”  
“I think before we say anything to Amara we should figure a few things out.”  
“What?”  
“Like where we are going to live and such. She will be full of questions and I think until we decide we should hold off on saying anything to her.”  
“Ok, but we better figure that out soon, because now that I have free reign to touch you I don’t know if I can stop.”  
She laughed as he pulled her close to him again. Just then Blake’s phone rang; he pulled it out to answer.  
“Hello”  
He looked at Gwen  
“It’s the doctor’s office they have the test results.”


	5. Family Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are still enjoying this story.

Blake hung up the phone and turned to Gwen who was holding her breath in anticipation.  
“Im a match”  
He grabbed her in a hug and spun around.  
“Oh my God Blake that’s wonderful, our baby is going to be ok.”  
“She is, they want to see us Monday at eleven to talk about what’s next.”  
“That’s great; Dot can stay with her while we go.”  
“Mom will love that.”  
Gwen worked the rest of the day, while Blake stayed with Amara. That evening they had dinner together, then played candy land. After putting Amara to bed they cuddled on the couch watching Sound of Music.  
“I can’t believe you can still get me to watch this movie with you.”  
“It’s a good movie.”  
“I’ve gotten used to it.”  
“Good thing because Amara loves it too.”  
She told him with a smirk.  
“I should have known.”  
“I was thinking we could take Amara to Disney Land tomorrow she loves it there so much.”  
“Are you sure its won’t be too much for her?”  
“She will be fine; if she needs to rest we can but now is the time to do this fun stuff with her before she gets weaker from the treatment.”  
“Will it get bad?”  
“The longer she is on chemo she will get more and more susceptible to germs.”  
“Then we will have to make we protect her from them, and that she has as much fun as she can inside.”  
Gwen smiled at him  
“You are already such a great dad to her.”  
“I hope so, I hope she knows that I would do anything for her.”  
“She does, she bonded with you right away. She knew she could count on you, you made her feel safe from the very beginning.”  
“What time do we need to leave in the morning to get to Disney Land?”  
“I think pretty early, it takes an hour to get there and if we are there when it opens there will be fewer lines. So let’s say six-thirty.”  
“Ok let’s finish the movie then head to bed.”  
Blake pulled Gwen back to him and wrapped his arms around her. She let out a content sigh. This felt right to both of them, they were meant to be together. Blake started kissing the back of her heck turning her around so he could get to front of her neck. He kissed her softly all over her neck.   
“If you keep this up its going to go farther than it can until Amara knows.”  
Blake pulled back knowing she was right. They couldn’t afford for her to walk in on them kissing yet. She would have too many questions that they hadn’t figured out yet.  
“Ok back to the movie”  
The next morning Blake went in to get Amara up and dressed while Gwen got breakfast ready.  
“Amara, baby it’s time to get up.”  
Amara opened her eyes and looked at the window  
“It’s still night time outside daddy.”  
“I know it’s still dark, but we have to get up because we have a surprise for you.”  
She perked up hearing about a surprise.  
“What is it?”  
“You have to get up and get ready, and then mommy and daddy will tell you”  
As soon as she was dressed in the clothes Gwen had laid out for her she looked at Blake.  
“Now you can tell me?”  
“Not until we go to the kitchen to see mommy.”  
Amara grabbed his hand  
“Come on daddy lets go find her.”  
Blake had to laugh at his daughter’s excitement.  
Amara ran into the kitchen  
“Mommy what’s my surprise daddy said I had to wait to find out until we found you.”  
She looked at Blake with a smile as he came and stood beside her in front of their daughter.   
“We are going to do to Disney Land today?”  
Amara started dancing and clapping  
“That’s my favorite”  
After breakfast they got in the car and made the hour drive to Anaheim. Once they parked they went to the ticket gate to get a ticket for Blake. Gwen had splurged on annual passed for Amara. She wasn’t able to splurge on much with all the medical bills, but her baby deserved it after everything she had been through.  
They got in line at the entrance ready to go in once the gate opened. Once they did Amara was pulling them in excited to enjoy the park.  
She rode several rides, wanting them both on them with her. Blake had convinced her to let him skip the one she was on now. There was no way he could fold his body up enough to fit in that. While they were on the ride he looked at the mad and had an idea.   
When they got off the ride, Blake handed a brochure to Gwen and asked her quietly if Amara had ever done it. She shook her head no.  
“It is way too expensive.”  
“Then I think we should do it.”  
“Blake it’s very expensive”  
He knew he needed to tell her, so he decided now would have to be the time.  
“Amara honey why don’t we do get some cotton candy?”  
Blake walked over to the line and waited getting her the pink cotton candy. Amara set down to eat it, while Blake and Gwen stood nearby.  
“Gwen I need to tell you something.”  
“What is it?”  
She asked worried by the concern in his voice.  
“We don’t have to worry about money, I have plenty.”  
“I’m not worried about it, we always seem to get by, but with medical bills, a big expense it something we just can’t do.”  
“When I said I have plenty what I meant to say was I am a millionaire.”  
Gwen’s jaw dropped  
“What?”  
“I patented a tool to make ranch work easier. I am worth several million.”  
She looked at him shocked  
“It kills me that you had to give up things to pay for medical bills I should have been taking care of, please let me do this for her.”  
“Hey none of that, we are not going to dwell on what happened. We are going to move forward and enjoy our lives.”  
She stood on her tiptoes giving him a quick kiss, being careful not to let Amara see.  
“Of course you can do it for her, but it might be too late to get a reservation now.”  
“I’ll go check on it and come back.”  
Blake returned fifteen minutes later with a smile on his face.   
“Amara I have a surprise for you.”  
“Another one daddy?”  
“How would you like to go get dressed up as a princess and then have lunch with all the princesses in Cinderella’s castle?”  
“Really?”  
“Yes”  
Amara jumped into Blake’s arms so excited, He held her tight in a big hug. Gwen could feel the tears forming in her eyes. She loved seeing both of them so happy.  
“We have to be there at eleven that gives us thirty more minutes to ride another ride.”  
“What about the tea cups, its right over there.”  
Gwen said pointing in the direction of the ride.  
One the ride home late that afternoon Amara passed out from all the excitement of the day. Blake took the opportunity to reach his hand over and put it on Gwen’s knee as she drove.   
“Thank you for giving her such a wonderful day.”  
“You don’t have to thank me she deserves to have special days. So do you Gwen.”  
“It was a special day for me too.”  
“That’s not what I mean. I mean you deserve a special time just for yourself.”  
“Im fine Blake honestly just knowing my girl is happy and that you are here with me is all I need.”  
“I was thinking after the doctor’s appointment Monday that you should have a special day too.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean I called Endy and asked her what a woman likes to do to relax. So I am making you an appointment for a spa day. You can get a message and a facial and all that stuff that woman like.”  
It had been so long since she had taken any time for just herself. This was more special to her than he could ever know. That he would want to do this for her made her realize all over again why she had fallen in love with him so many years ago.  
“Gwen are you crying?”  
She laughed  
“You know I’m an emotional girl. Thank you doing this for me.”  
“Mom and I will take care of Amara and make sure dinner is taken care of.”  
When they got home Blake carried Amara into the house and laid her down. She only woke up for a couple of hours long enough to eat, get a shower, and tell her parents again how much she loved the day.   
Sunday Morning during breakfast Amara was so excited. She couldn’t wait to meet her grandma. Gwen on the other hand was a little more hesitant. She had always loved Dot, but she was worried that even knowing what happened she would hate Gwen for keeping her grandchild away from her.   
“Can mommy and I go with you to get grandma?”  
“Sure you can princess”  
“Blake maybe Amara and I should stay here so you have some time to talk to her.”  
Blake knew immediately what Gwen was talking about.  
“She already knows dad called her as soon as I got off the phone with him. She called me while you were working.”  
“Ok then Amara can do and I can stay here and make sure everything is ready for her.”  
Blake opened his mouth to protest and tell her his mom was fine with everything, but he remembered Amara was right there.   
“Princess since you are through eating why don’t you go play in your room for a little bit until it’s time to go.”  
He waited until he was sure she was out of earshot before he stared.  
“Gwen what’s wrong?”  
“What if she hates me?”  
“Why would she hate you, she knows what happened?”  
“Blake I kept her grandchild from her. Even if everything had happed the way I thought it did I could have told her and Endy.”  
“Gwen baby its ok she doesn’t hate you.”  
He told her walking over to her and pulling her close to him.  
“She is actually excited to see you, she loves you.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes, but now that you mention it why didn’t you tell them.”  
“She buried her face in his shirt for a minute before looking up at him. Because no matter what had happened I didn’t want them mad at you. I know how important your family was to you. I couldn’t stand the thought of them judging you.”  
“Come on let’s go get the kid and go pick up mom at the airport.”  
“Ok”  
“Did you tell your mom we are back together?”  
“No, we decided to wait until Amara knows.”  
The arrived at the airport ten minutes before the plane was due to land. They waited in the car an Amara watched as it landed. As soon as they had to all clear they got out of the car. Amara was pulling on Blake and Gwen to get the quickly.  
“It ok honey, your grandma will be here for a few days you will get to spend lots of time with her.”  
Just then Dot appeared in the doorway of the plane. She stopped for a moment as she took in the sight of her granddaughter coming towards her. She descended the stairs quickly as Amara broke free and ran to her. Dot took her in a big hug holding her tightly.  
She finally pulled back when Gwen and Blake approached. She gave Blake a hug and turned to Gwen.  
“Oh honey I have missed you so much.”  
She told her as she pulled her into a tight hug. Gwen immediately felt all the anxiety she had melt away. She hugged her back just a hard.  
“I’ve missed you too.”


	6. Grandma

On the drive home from the airport Gwen had asked Dot if there was anything special she wanted to do her first day there.   
“Honestly what I would like to do today is get to know my grandbaby here and spend some quality time with my family.”  
“Ok then family time it is.”  
“By the way mom Gwen and I have an appointment in the morning; we thought you could watch Amara for us.”  
“Oh course, you just try getting me away from her this week.”  
The rest of the ride home was spent with Amara telling Dot all about her day at Disney. She was still so excited by it. When they pulled up to the house Blake sent them in with a promise to bring in his moms luggage. Amara stayed behind insisting that she was going to help her daddy.  
“Dot I will give you a little tour and show you where your room is.”  
She showed her around the house before stopping in the room that Blake had been using.  
“You will be staying here; Blake has been using this room. So his stuff is still in the closet.”  
“Where is he going to be sleeping now?”  
“In the office”  
Gwen told her in a sweet innocent voice. She knew what Dot had been hinting at she could see it in her eyes.   
“Is that right, well I can stay in the office so Blake doesn’t have to.”  
“You are not going to sleep on the couch in the office. You know Blake can sleep anywhere.”  
Dot laughed knowing this was true. Just then Amara and Blake came down the hall with her bags.  
“Grandma”  
Amara called as she started down the hall.  
“Yes sweetheart?”  
Dot was sure she would never get over hearing this precious girl calling her grandma.  
“Daddy said once you have a chance to get settled we can do something fun.”  
“I would love that, but I don’t need to get settled I am ready to start spoiling my new grandbaby right now.”  
She said giving Amara a big hug.  
“Can we go to the park?”  
Dot looked at Gwen for permission. She nodded her approval.  
“I think we can do that.”  
“And get ice-cream?”  
“Ok”  
“And ….”  
“I think that is good enough for now”  
Blake said  
The four of them went to the little park close to where they lived. Amara had Dot pushing her on the swing, catching her when she came down the slide, and playing on the titter totter with her.   
Blake and Gwen set on a bench close by watching them.  
“Mom is in heave right now.”  
“Amara is too, she loves her family so much. Finding out she had more has made her every happier. I just wish.”  
Her voice started to trail off. Blake put his hand under her chin raising it up so he could look her in the eyes.  
“No Gwen we are not going to do that anymore. We are only looking forward.”  
“No regrets.”  
She told him. She leaned her head on his shoulder, and he rested his on hers. They set like this for just a few seconds before Blake realized what they were doing. He pulled his head up and moved his shoulder so she was no longer leaning on it.  
“Gwen we have to be careful.”  
They continued to sit there watching Dot and Amara for a few more minutes before Blake decided to go see if he could give his mom a break.  
“Mom, I can play with her for a little bit, if you want to go sit with Gwen.”  
“Im fine son, you forget that I use to run after three of you.”  
“Ok, so what are you two up to next?”  
“Can we play in the sandbox?”  
Amara asked looking a little guilty  
“Sure you can.”  
Blake told her.  
“Just a second son”  
She turned to Amara  
“Are you allowed to play in the sandbox?”  
“Daddy said I could.”  
By then Blake was catching on  
“Did you mom tell you no to the sandbox?”  
“Yes”  
She said hanging her head.  
“Amara, you know it was not right to ask to do something you are not allowed to do.”  
“Yes sir.”  
“I think we should go home now.”  
“Yes sir.”  
She hung her head and Blake almost gave in. He opened his mouth to tell her they could stay but Dot put her hand on his arm stopping him. They walked over to where Gwen was now standing looking at them with curious eyes.  
“We are going to go home now.”  
“Daddy can we still get ice-cream?”  
“How about we go get ice-cream after dinner tonight?”  
“Ok”  
She told him giving him a big hug. Both Gwen and Dot saw the relief flood through Blake. Gwen looked at him questioning.  
He mouthed to her that they he would tell her when they got home.  
When they got back to the house Gwen suggested Amara show Dot her room while she got lunch ready. Blake followed her into the kitchen. Gwen began getting the things out for lunch while Blake helped.  
“So what happened at the park?”  
“Amara asked could she play in the sandbox.”  
“She knows she’s not allowed to do that.”  
“Yes she does but she thought she could get me to let her.”  
“Oh”  
“I told her she knew that was wrong and she I thought we should come back home.”  
“She looked devastated, it almost killed me.”  
“Oh honey”  
She said walking over to him giving him a hug.  
“You have been a great dad to her since the minute I told you. Sometimes that means having to correct them.”  
“I know but that was hard.”  
“I know baby, but it was necessary.”  
She laughed  
“I hate to tell you but that was an easy one.”  
Blake let out a moan that told her he was not looking forward to it.  
“Come on let’s get lunch ready.”  
She told him with a quick peck on his mouth.  
After lunch Amara laid down for a nap and Dot got her things settled in her room. The rest of the day was spent with Amara getting to know Dot. After dinner they went for the promised ice-cream trip. Once Amara had gone to bed the three of them gathered in the living room.   
“So Gwen honey tell me how everyone in your family is doing.”  
“They are great, Todd just graduated college and started a job doing photography and videography. Mom and Dad are the same, they are a huge help with Amara. The both seem to like it here, but I think they miss Oklahoma.”  
“I would love the chance to get to see them while I’m here.”  
“Im sure they would love that too.”  
“What about you Gwen, what have you been doing other than raising an amazing little girl.”  
“Mostly that, even when she hasn’t been sick it’s a full time job. I also work for a design company.”  
“Im glad you have done well.”  
“So what will they decide at this appointment tomorrow?”  
“They are going to let us know the time line for when we can do the transplant. I have done a lot of reading on it and it will be a process. I hate to think of her going through all of it.”  
Gwen started to cry  
“Oh honey, I know its hard watching your baby go through something you have no control over. Just remember that once the transplant is done she will not have to deal with this disease again.”  
Blake had put his hand on her shoulder.  
“We are going to do everything we can to make this as easy on her as possible.”  
She reached her hand up to her shoulder putting it on top of his.  
“I know, and I know she will be ok.”  
“What about you two?”  
“What about us?”  
Blake asked his mom  
“Have you decided what’s next?”  
“Im staying here until I know that she is ok. After that we will figure it out.”  
“Ok you two it has been a long day, I think I am going to go call Mike and talk to him for a little bit, and then turn in.”  
“Good night Mom.”  
“Good night Dot.”  
“Night”  
“What do you want to do tonight?”  
“Make out with you on the couch.”  
Blake just looked at her not expecting that answer.  
“Um Gwen.”  
“I know we can’t, but that’s what I want.”  
“We need to figure this out soon, so we don’t have to hide.”  
The next Day Gwen and Blake set in the Doctor’s office as he explained to them what the next steps were. The doctor wanted to switch up her treatment. He wanted to start an aggressive radiation treatment as soon as possible. Once the treatment had killed most of the cancer cells they would have to isolate her because her immune system would be low. They wanted Blake to be isolated for a little while as well so insure that he did not catch something that would postpone the transplant. After they did the transplant she would have to stay closed off while she healed. After he explained everything to them he asked if they had any questions.  
“When we decided on Chemo it was because you thought the radiation would be too hard on her. Why are we changing to that?”  
“In the beginning we didn’t know when we would find a donor I didn’t want her weakened to a point she would have more trouble recovering. With the transplant happening soon this is the best option.”  
“Will we both be able to be with her when is in isolation?”  
Blake asked.   
“Yes the two of you will be with her but that is it. You will also have to limit your outside contact to keep yourselves healthy.”  
“How soon do you think we can do the surgery?”  
“I think in about three months we should be at a good place, but I warn you it could be longer.”  
“How long will her recovery take?”  
“That will depend on a lot of things but within a couple of months she should be ok mostly.”  
“Will she lose all of her hair?”  
“Yes”  
They left the doctor’s office and drove to the Spa Blake had made Gwen’s reservation at.  
“It is going to be a rough few months Blake.”  
“Gwen I know we have to be strong for her but I don’t want you to hold it all in trying to be superwoman. I am here for you we will be able to lean on each other and when we need to break we will have a safe zone to do that in.”  
“Blake I don’t know what we are going to do long term but I am tired of waiting until we have it all figured out. I need you right now not six months from now. I think we need to figure out what to tell Amara now.”  
“What about not wanting to confuse her?”  
“I think it will help her over the next few months to know that no matter what the three of us will be together as a family, not just as her mom and dad.”  
“Ok, we can tell her tonight.”  
They drove a little more when she looked over at him grinning  
“What’s on your mind cowboy?”  
“That after we tell her I won’t have to sleep on the couch anymore.”  
She laughed at him.  
“I love you Blake”  
“I love you Gwen”  
That night after dinner they set down with Amara to tell her about them.  
“Amara honey Daddy and me have something to tell you.”   
“Ok”  
She responded confused.  
“Mommy and Daddy want us to be a family together, the three of us.”  
“What about my grandparents and Uncle Todd and Aunt Endy?”  
“They will still be your family two, what we mean is mommy and daddy will live together all the time with you.”  
“Daddy you are moving here with us always.”  
“Yes Princess I will be with you always no matter where it is, me and mommy will always be together with you.”  
She got up and hugged them both before running to Dot.  
“Grandma did you hear that mommy and Daddy are going to be a family always.”  
“Yes honey I did, it is the way it was always supposed to be.”


	7. The calm before the storm

Gwen was staring out the window lost in thought when she felt Blake’s hand rest on her knee.  
“What are you thinking sunshine?”  
“About how great it was having your mom here. It just made me realize how much I have missed your entire family.”  
“I know watching everyone at dinner the other night really made me realize how much I had missed our families together too.”  
“I wish Amara could meet the rest of your family, but a trip to Oklahoma would be too much right now. With her radiation starting soon.”  
“Yeah Dad and Endy are anxious to meet her in person, not just on Facetime.”  
They were on their way to dinner. Patti had insisted that they needed a night just to themselves and that she and Denis wanted some time with their granddaughter. Blake had made reservations at an Italian restaurant that was supposed to be the best in town.   
When they arrived the maître d showed them to their table.   
“The atmosphere here is so nice, you picked a good place Blake.”  
“Only the best for my girl.”  
“You have always been a great boyfriend Blake, so kind and thoughtful. You really are an amazing man.”  
“Gwen you are the one who is amazing, if it wasn’t for your strength these last few weeks I don’t know if I could have handled seeing how sick she can get.”  
“That goes both ways.”  
The waiter arrived to take their drink orders. Blake ordered a bottle of Gwen’s favorite wine. When the waiter arrived back with the wine, he asked for appetizers.”  
“Bring us the bruschetta, and lobster ravioli.”  
Blake told him. Gwen took a sip of her wine as the waiter left the table.  
“Blake this wine is delicious, and you remember that lobster ravioli was my favorite.”  
He smiled behind his glass.  
“I remember everything about you.”  
The rest of dinner was filled with easy conversation; they were just enjoying being with each other and the delicious food. When the waiter asked about dessert they were both too full. Blake ordered half a dozen cannoli to take home with them. When they walked out into the evening Blake had an idea.  
“Gwen is there a place we can go for a walk?”  
“Sure there is a plaza that plays music at night and you can walk.”  
“Perfect.”  
Gwen gave Blake the directions as he drove to the plaza she mentioned.  
They walked hand in hand listening to the music play.   
“This is nice thank you for thinking of it.”  
He let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, she in turn wrapped her arm around his waist. After about thirty minutes they decided to leave for home.  
“Im am glad that your parents decided to keep Amara for the night.”  
He told her on the way home.  
“I love that girl to pieces but I do not love the fact that she has been cock blocking me.”  
Gwen laughed. Amara had decided that since the three of them were going to be a family then she would sleep with them. So for the last week she had been sleeping between them.   
“We are going to need to break her of that”  
“Yes, but tonight we don’t have to worry about it.”  
“Nope not tonight”  
She took her hand and placed it on his thigh slowly moving it to the inside.   
“Gwen it has been five and a half years for us, if you keep doing that I will not make it home.”  
She laughed and removed her hand. When they got home Gwen put the Cannoli’s away.  
When she walked back in the living room Blake was staring at her with a hungry look one the made her stomach tingle. The kind of look that let her know he has been waiting for this for five and a half years, and if she is honest with herself she has been too. She walked over to him and his mouth crashed down on hers. It was a greedy kiss, a kiss that made everything inside of her want more. He felt the same way too, he grabbed her and lifted her up so that she had her legs wrapped around him. He moved his mouth down her jaw, then her neck. She moved her head to give him greater access, as he moved her hands through his hair. She loved his hair she always had the thick black waves and the little curls that appeared when it started to get a little long like it was now. There was not a think about this man that she didn’t love. He pulled his head up to her and smiled.  
“I love you Gwen I always have and I always will.”  
That simple statement said more to her than anything. It brought tears to her eyes.   
“Blake I love you so much.”  
That was the last word they said to each other for a while. He slammed his mouth back at hers. By know he had backed them against the wall in the hall way. He had planned to take her to the bedroom but they didn’t make it. They started pulling each other’s clothes off. Without putting her down he had her completely naked against the wall except for her panties by the time she had gotten his shirt off and his pants undone. He would be forever grateful that she had worn a dress tonight. He quickly ripped her thong off of her grinding his jean clad penis against her center. The only sound in the room was the heavy breathing and moans coming from them. Gwen reached her hand down and lowered it inside of his boxers, and started rubbing him. His eyes rolled back in his head, He moved his hand to her center that was wet and ready for him. He backed away enough to drop his jeans and boxer briefs never putting her down in the process. He entered her in one hard fast move. She cried out in pleasure, and he started to move, slowly at first not wanting this over too soon. It didn’t take long before he had increased the speed. She could feel his heart beating hard and she knew he was as close as she was. She wanted them to go together.   
“Cum with me baby!”  
She cried out right before she found her release. He did just as she demanded, and came inside of her hard and fast. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes trying to catch their breath. The wall holding them both up. When they had finally composed themselves, they made their way to the bedroom. This time is was slow and steady. He worshiped her body in ways that she had forgotten how wonderful they were. When he had brought her to two more orgasms, she told him that it was her turn. She let him know how much she loved each and every part of his body. When he came in her mouth she lifted her head and smiled at him as she swallowed him. They continued making love until the early morning hours. When they found themselves wrapped in each other’s arms eating the Cannoli that Blake had gotten.   
“These are to die for, Im so glad you decided to get them.”  
“I figured we would need something to keep our strength up.”  
“This has been the best night every, but I am exhausted. We need to get a little sleep before Amara comes home.”  
With that they curled up in the bed her head on his chest and slept.   
__________________________________________  
A week and a half later they were setting up for a big family BBQ. All of Blake’s immediate family was flying in and her family would be there as well. Amara really wanted to meet her Aunt and Grandfathers and they all wanted to meet her. They knew a trip to Oklahoma would not happen for a while so they had decided to spend the last weekend before Amara started the new treatment together.   
Blake had left a little while ago to pick everyone up from the airport and Amara was driving Gwen crazy asking how much longer until they got there.  
“Amara honey they will be here soon please calm down. Why don’t you go help Uncle Todd?”  
“She is just excited Gwen to be honest so am I, it was great seeing Dot again. I can’t wait to see the others too.”  
“I know mom me too, but if I didn’t send her out of here we would never get anything done.”  
They heard Amara scream from the other room. They both ran out of the Kitchen to see what happened. When they reached the living room Amara was jumping up and down and Todd looked like all of the blood had rushed out of his face.  
“What happened?”  
“They’re here!”  
“Oh my God Amara you scared the living daylights out of me.”  
Todd told her  
“Amara I know you are excited but please don’t scream like that again, It scared us.”  
“I’m sorry mommy”  
“It’s ok, why don’t you go open the door for everyone.”  
She opened the door and ran straight to Dot.  
“I missed you grandma”  
“I missed you too baby”  
She told her giving her a big hug.  
Blake came up beside them.  
“Amara princess I want you to meet your grandpa.”  
She looked over to Dick and smiled at him, before walking over to him to give him a hug. Once she had meet him Blake introduced her to her other Grandfather Mike, her Aunt Endy, and Uncle Mike. Needless to say she stole everyone’s heart.  
They went inside were everyone else greeted each other. It was a wonderful afternoon everyone catching up with each other and getting to know Amara.   
“Endy you are glowing, I cant wait to meet this little one.”  
“Me either I am so ready to hold her in my arms.”  
“Have you thought of any names?”  
“Yes we are going to name her Ryan.”  
“I love it.”  
“Aunt Endy will your baby be my sister?”  
“No sweetie she will be your cousin.”  
“Oh, I want a sister buy mommy always tells me she didn’t think it would happen.”  
“I tell you what you and Ryan can be super close cousins that are just like sisters.”  
“Thank you Aunt Endy.”  
“You are welcome, and who knows maybe if you ask your daddy really nice he will get you a sister too.”  
Amara walked off no doubt to go and find her father and ask for a sister.  
“Blake is going to love you for that, he has a hard time telling her no to anything.”  
“Who says he has to tell her no. I mean I know that this probably isn’t the best time but maybe down the road.”  
“Maybe”  
“Gwen it’s obvious you two are as crazy about each other as always.”  
Gwen laughed  
“It’s true, and I would love to have another baby or two but we haven’t really talked that far yet.”  
Too fast the weekend was over. Amara was extremely upset to see her family leave, she loved each one of the already. They had made plans to visit Oklahoma in a few months when she was better. She could hardly wait.  
When they put Amara to bed Sunday night she asked Blake  
“Daddy when we go to Oklahoma I get to ride a horse by myself like you said right?”  
“Yes princess you will get to ride by yourself.”  
“And I will get to play with my Ryan.”  
“Yes honey you will get to play with Ryan.”  
“And…”  
“Enough Amara you need to get some rest you have a big day tomorrow.”  
“Ok mommy.”  
When they went back to the living room Gwen sighed as she set down.  
“What’s wrong sunshine?”  
She opened her mouth to say nothing she didn’t want to worry him too, but she knew that they had to be honest with each other all the time.  
“Im just concerned about this new treatment. I hope its not too much for her.”  
“Gwen she has an excellent doctor, he said she will be ok and with it we will be able to do the transplant so she won’t get sick again.”  
“I know your right. It helps having you here with us. My parents have been great but this is different.”  
“Why don’t we head to bed too?”  
“Sleepy already Blake?”  
She asked him with a knowing grin.  
“I just thought maybe I could take your mind off things.”  
“I love you Blake.”  
“I love you Gwen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ve had a few happy chapters in a row but now we’re going to have some bumpy ones.


	8. Radiation

The first treatment did not go well Amara started getting sick with in a couple of hours. She was not able to sleep for very long before she would wake up in pain. Gwen and Blake were with her 24 hours a day. Neither of them slept the first night by the second night they knew they were both going to need some rest. Although neither of them were able to sleep for very long. By the end of the first week they were exhausted, but Amara was finally starting to feel a little better. They hoped the second round would not be as bad.   
When they got ready to go the day of the second treatment Amara had a breakdown.   
“No mommy I don’t want to go.”  
“I know honey but you have to so you can get better.”  
“Please mommy”  
Amara pleaded tears streaming down her face.  
“It hurt so bad.”  
“Princess this time might not hurt as bad.”  
“But what if it does daddy?”  
“Then mommy and I will take care of you till your all better.”  
He told her picking her up and holding her while she cried.  
When they got to the hospital for the treatment, they tried to take Amara back to get her set up but she had another breakdown.  
“Mommy come with me please don’t let them take me away.”  
“Honey they are just going to get you set up then mommy and daddy will come back there to see you.”  
“MOMMY! MOMMY!”  
She screamed as they tried again to take her back. Gwen took her in her arms and held her for a minute. She looked up at the nurse.  
“Im coming back there with her!”  
The nurse just nodded letting Gwen know she was not going to argue with her. Gwen held her hand while they got her ready for treatment. Once she was ready they went and got Blake to join them.  
Blake and Gwen shared a look that conveyed to each other how much this was hurting them as well. Blake sat down on the other side of the bed and took her other hand in his.  
“Why don’t we talk about our trip to Oklahoma?”  
“Ok”  
“What do you think should be the first thing we do?”  
“I want to see Grandma.”  
“Good because Grandma is going to want that too.”  
“What next?”  
“I don’t know”  
“Maybe we could go meet Aunt Endy’s baby next.”  
Gwen mentioned trying to help Blake take their daughters mind off of things.  
“Yeah, I want to see my Ryan.”  
“Then can we see Grandpa, and the horses, and your house, and we can swim in the lake like you and mommy use to.”  
“We can do all of those things, I will even show you the tree and Grandpa’s where I carved your mom and my initials.”  
“Yes daddy that will be fun.”  
They keep her talking about Oklahoma until her treatment was over. After they got home Gwen made lunch hoping to get something good into Amara before she got sick. After lunch Blake took her into the living room and laid down on the couch with her to watch a movie. Gwen joined them after checking her email from work. She had really not be able to work at all this last week, she knew she should probably take advantage of these couple of hours but she knew that she would not be able to concentrate right now.   
Gwen set down on the love seat to watch a movie with them. It didn’t take long before Amara had gotten up and came over to where she was sitting and curled up with her. By the time the movie was over Amara was throwing up.   
‘Please God no, not like last week’ Gwen thought to herself. Luckily Amara had managed to only get it on Gwen.   
“Here baby let me take her and wash her mouth out while you take a shower.”  
“Thank you”  
Blake took Amara to the bathroom and had her rinse her mouth out and he washed her face.  
“Daddy, I don’t feel good again.”  
“I know princess.”  
He took her back out to the living room and set her on the couch while he went to get something for her to throw up in next time and a couple of towels for the couch. By the time Gwen had finished her shower Blake had Amara settled on the couch he had covered in towels with her bucket beside her and some ginger ale.  
She was almost asleep when Gwen walked over to her. She bent down to kiss her on the forehead.  
“I love you sweetie, you get some sleep now.”  
She went to the love seat and curled up on Blake’s lap. He wrapped his arms around her kissing her on the forehead just like she had Amara. She laid her head on his shoulder and fell asleep. He set there for a few minutes watching to two most important people in the world to him sleep before falling asleep himself.   
They slept for about thirty minutes before Amara woke up sick again. She managed to get it in the bucket. The week went the same way the week before had, the only difference this week was the Amara didn’t start feeling better at all. Blake and Gwen hated to think how much worse she would be after the third treatment.  
Just like they had feared after the third treatment she continued to get worse. The doctor started to get concerned about her as well. He changed her medicine giving her something stronger to help with the nausea. This seemed to help but nothing seemed to help with the achiness. She had gotten to the point that she could only rest when Gwen was either holding her or lying beside her.   
Blake hated to admit it but his feeling were starting to get a little upset. Amara only wanted Gwen, he knew he was being sensitive, that she loved him too but damn it he wanted her to want him too. The night before the fourth weeks treatment Blake put his foot down, Gwen was exhausted and she needed sleep.   
“Gwen baby you have to get some rest. Let’s take her in our room, then when she wakes up I can take care of her and you can still sleep.”  
“I’m not going to argue with you.”  
That night when Amara work up she let Blake take care of her as long as she could still feel Gwen beside her. It wasn’t the most peaceful sleep she has had but it did make her feel better.   
The fourth treatment went just like the previous ones. They both hated to see their baby girl getting weaker. Between the lack of sleep and the constant worry about Amara they were both on edge. They never let her see it though. They tried to keep things as normal as possible. They would watch a movie with her, they would try to play games with her. If Amara wanted to try it they were more than willing to do it. Her appetite was still not great but with the nausea gone she was able to keep food down.   
As the fifth week started they took Amara in to have some tests. They needed to see how the cancer was reacting to the treatment. While they awaited the test results she would not have a treatment this week. They both prayed this would give her time to start feeling better. After three days to both of their delight she started to feel a little better. The down side was she was starting to act out.   
“I don’t want to eat that daddy I want the cookies grandma brought.”  
“You have to eat so dinner first honey.”  
“No I don’t want to.”  
“Amara you need the vegetable and chicken.”  
“No daddy I need the cookies.”  
“If you don’t eat your dinner you cannot have the cookies.”  
“Yes I can mommy said so.”  
“Amara, you do not talk to your daddy that way.”  
The evening were the worst she always started feeling worse. She was still insistent that Gwen be with her at night so she was sleeping with them.   
One Thursday night Amara had just gone back to sleep, so Gwen went to the bathroom before going to sleep again herself. Amara woke up while she was gone crying for her. Blake could not do anything to calm her down. Gwen rushed back out and comforted her daughter. Blake was tired of this his own daughter didn’t want him at all. He got up from the bed and headed for the door.  
“Where are you going?”  
“I’m going to sleep on the couch.”  
He told her in a tone let her know he was pissed. She made sure Amara was sleeping good and gently climbed out of bed and walked to the living room.  
“What the hell is wrong with you?”  
Gwen demanded  
“Noting go back to bed.”  
“Not until you tell me why you are all pissed and let our bed.”  
“Maybe I am tired of my daughter not wanting me around.”  
“Blake what are you talking about? Amara loves you.”  
“The only person she is interested in lately is you.”  
“Blake honey of course she is attached to me. I have been through this with her before. It doesn’t mean she loves you any less or doesn’t want you around.”  
“And whose fault is it I wasn’t here with her before?”  
Gwen looked like she had been slapped in the face.  
“I thought we were passed that.”  
Blake knew he was being unreasonable. He just didn’t care at the moment.  
“You claimed to love me and yet you thought I could have sent you and my child away.”  
“That was a two way street Blake you loved me and thought I could leave you just like that.”  
Just then they heard Amara crying out.  
“Go take care of Amara.”  
Gwen went back to their bedroom to check on Amara.  
“Its ok baby mommies here.”  
Gwen helped her to the bathroom and got her some more Motrin. When she had her settled in again she let the tears she had been holding back fall.  
In the living room Blake was laying on the couch unable to sleep wondering how they got to this point. Maybe having a sick child is too much for them. That’s what happened to his parents Richie’s death had been more than they could get through. Maybe him and Gwen were not meant to last.


	9. Up and Down

Gwen got up that morning with a terrible headache. She had cried herself to sleep last night only to be woken up early by Amara. She got her baby girl dressed and went to the kitchen to get breakfast started. When she walked in Blake was already in there. She thought about turning around and leaving but she decided to get it over with. Blake looked up when she walked in the room.   
“I thought that since Amara was able to eat better right now I would make Pancakes and bacon for breakfast. I just put the coffee on, sorry its not ready yet.”  
Was he really going to act like nothing was wrong? She was just about to ask that when she looked into his eyes and could see the pain of last night still in them.  
“Blake we need to talk.”  
“I know, I just don’t know what to say.”  
“Did you mean what you said last night?”  
“No, I was tired and angry and I said somethings I never should have.”  
“So you are angry at me?”  
She asked her stomach dropping.  
“No, I’m not angry at you, I am angry at myself.”  
“For being upset?”  
“No, although now that you mention it that too. I am angry because I didn’t come after you. You were right when you said I should have known that wasn’t you in the letter. I should have come after you and because I didn’t I lost five and half years with you and Amara.”  
“I was wrong to say that, you didn’t know and we need to put that behind us so we can move forward.”  
“Gwen don’t you see if I had come after you, we could have done the transplant before and she wouldn’t be sick now. You wouldn’t have had to go through any of this by yourself.”  
“We don’t know that Blake, the transplant only came up this time since she relapsed.”  
Gwen walked over to him and gave him a hug. He quickly hugged her back. She pulled back and looked up at him.  
“I love you, but if you ever pull what you did last night again I will not forgive you this easy.”  
“I love you.”  
Amara came into the kitchen.  
“What is for breakfast mommy?”  
“Daddy is making us pancakes and bacon to celebrate you feeling better.”  
“Yay! Thank you daddy you make the best pancakes in the whole world.”  
“Why don’t you sit here beside me and I can show you how I do it?”  
Amara was excited as she set there with Blake learning how to make pancakes. Gwen set down at the table with a cup of coffee letting them have this time together.   
After breakfast Blake set down with Amara to play a game while Gwen got some work done. It wasn’t long before she was tired. Blake laid her down on the couch so she could rest, while she watched a movie. Gwen was working in the living room so Amara had her close by. During the movie Amara fell asleep, she had only been asleep a few minutes when Gwen’s phone rang. She looked at the screen and felt her body tense.   
“Blake it’s the doctor’s office.”  
“It is going to be good news.”  
“Hello”  
Gwen said answering the phone.  
“Yes this is her.”  
“Two o’clock today, yes we will be there.”  
Gwen hung up the phone and looked at Blake with fear in her eyes.  
“The doctor wants to see us, we need to be there at two.”  
“Did they say why?”  
“No, just that the results of the tests were in and he wanted to go over them with us.”  
“Wouldn’t they have told us if they were good over the phone?”  
“I don’t know, usually if they are good they call me in but not so quickly usually in the next couple of days.”  
Blake grabbed Gwen in a hug.  
“No matter what it is we will get her through it.”  
Gwen wondered if Blake knew just how much having him with her gave her peace. She found such comfort in his arms.  
They dropped Amara off at her grandparents that afternoon before going to the doctor. She had not been happy but they really didn’t want to take her with them not knowing the news. They just hoped she didn’t cry the whole time they were gone.  
When they were lead back to the doctor’s office Blake took a deep breath. Gwen took his hand in hers giving him the strength to keep going. They went in and set down and waited for the doctor to enter the room. It felt like forever before he walked in, in reality it had only been a couple of minutes.  
“Good to see you both?”  
They responded in kind.  
“So I have Amara’s latest scans and I am surprised at what they show.”  
Gwen squeezed Blake’s hand as he spoke  
“How bad it is?”  
Blake asked.  
“Not bad at all Blake your daughter has responded quicker to the treatment than we first thought.”  
They both let out a sigh of relief.  
“What does that mean for her treatment?”  
“Well I would like to move up the time table on the transplant, it that works for you.”  
“Of course I am ready as soon as we can do it.”  
“Good, I would like to give her a couple of weeks to get some of her strength back. I know the radiation has been rough on her. How has she been lately?”  
“The last couple of days she seems to be doing better. She gets tired more often, and doesn’t sleep for very long at a time. She’s still cranky but, she is eating well.”  
“That’s good to hear, the tired will likely not go away until after her body has had time to heal from the transplant. It’s a good thing though that’s what she needs so her body can recover.”  
“What do we need to do now?”  
“I would like to run a couple of tests on you now, just to make sure you are still completely healthy. In two weeks we will want to put her in the hospital to keep her away from any germs. We will then begin getting her ready for the transplant.”  
“You said we will be able to be with her during that time.”  
“Yes of course I know Blake that you said you wanted to go the specialty center. We will get that arranged.”  
Gwen looked over to Blake with a questioning look, but decided to ask about it later.   
“Ok so when do you want to run the tests on me?”  
“We will want to run a full blood panel on you so it will need to be a fasting test. I will give you the papers and you can go in the next couple of days.”  
On the drive to Dennis and Patti’s house Gwen turned to Blake.  
“What about the specialty center?”  
“It’s a place where we can live like a family for a few weeks that will be blocked off to anyone other than hospital staff. I thought it was better than living in a room for a few weeks. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it to you.”  
“It’s ok; I think that’s a great idea. I just wish you had told me so I knew what was happening in there.”  
“I know baby I should have.”  
She sighed. Blake reached over and gave her knee a little squeeze and rested it there.  
“I promise it won’t happen again.”  
“It’s not that, it’s just that before we told each other everything and now it seems with everything going on we don’t do that. I’m afraid we won’t get to that point again.”  
“Baby when we first started dating it was just me and you will no responsibility in the word other than school and chores. It was easier to get to that point because we were able to be together or on the phone all the time. Now even though we are together all the time Amara takes a lot of time and attention, and you have your job. We will get back to that I know we will we just need time to figure out how to balance everything.”  
“How did I get so lucky to find a man that is not only super sexy and hot, but smart too?”  
He laughed.   
When they reached Gwen’s parents’ house Amara was excited to see them.  
They set down in the living room both of them anxious to hear what the doctor had said. Amara set between Blake and Gwen.   
“The doctor said that Amara is responding better than they hoped to this treatment and that she doesn’t have to have the radiation anymore.”  
“That’s wonderful”  
Patty exclaimed.  
“Im so happy mommy I didn’t like that treatment. It made me feel bad.”  
“I know baby.”  
“We are going to wait a couple of weeks and begin the process of isolating Amara so we can do the transplant.”  
“What does isolate mean mommy?”  
“It means you have to stay away from people that could give you germs.”  
“I cant be with you?”  
She asked her little lip quivering.  
“No honey mommy and daddy will be with you.”  
“Good because I need you and daddy.”  
“We are going to stay in a special hotel were we will be able to play, and have fun.”  
“Can we swim too daddy?”  
“No honey this hotel doesn’t have a pool for you to swim in, but we will have lots of fun.”  
“Will she be allowed any visitors?”  
Dennis asked.  
“Not often but once in a while she will be able to have a few people. You just have to make sure you have no temperature and you will dress in a sterile gown.”  
“Blake will your family be here? They are more than welcome to stay with us.”  
“I don’t know, we are going to call them when we get home, but I don’t think they need to come again.”  
Patti knew that noting would stop Dot from being here for this, but she would wait for Dot to tell him.  
The next couple of weeks were not as easy as they thought. Amara began to feeling even better for the three or four days but after that the nausea started again. The doctor didn’t want to give her medicine for it if he didn’t need to so they waited a couple of days. Since it was getting worse they put her back on the medicine. The doctor was concerned that this was a stomach bug that she had picked up in her weakened state.   
She was back to not being able to sleep for long because of how bad she felt. She wanted Gwen with her all the time. The difference this time was Blake didn’t let it bother him. He understood it now that she loved him just as much as Gwen but when a child is sick they want mommy, just like he had when he was little. He just hated seeing his little girl like this. She gradually started feeling better. They wanted to do something fun with her before they went into the hospital so they had Gwen’s parents, Todd, and a couple of Gwen’s friends for a cookout. They planned to do the party on Sunday before checking in on Monday morning.   
“Amara what food would you like to have at your party?”  
“Cupcakes”  
“OK, what else”  
“Cookies”  
“Ok, but we need to have some real food too.”  
“Hamburgers with lots of ketchup, and chips with dip”  
“Well Blake she is definitely your daughter.”  
Blake laughed giving Amara a high five.   
After they finished dinner that night Gwen took Amara to get a bath and get her ready for bed while Blake cleaned up. She was really tired tonight and she didn’t eat very much. After getting her to bed Gwen joined Blake in the living room. He was sitting on the couch watching ESPN with Gwen laying down reading a book her legs propped in his lap. After a couple of hours Gwen got up to check on Amara. After a few minutes he heard Gwen yell.  
“BLAKE COME QUICK!”  
Blake ran to Amara’s room, but they were not there. He saw the light in the bathroom on so he went there.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“She threw up again and this time there is blood in it.”


	10. Family

Get her cleaned up, I’ll get her a blanket and get the car ready.”  
“Ok”  
Was all she said, before turning to get a rag to wash her face off.  
When she finished she carried her downstairs where Blake meet he coming in from starting the car.  
“Her let me carry her.”  
Amara went to Blake with no argument for her mommy.   
“Come on princess let’s take you to the doctor to get you better.”  
He put her in the back of the car and Gwen climbed in beside her. When they arrived at the ER they were thankful that the lobby was not that busy. Blake walked up to the counter to sign them in while Gwen set down with Amara.  
“They gave me this incase she gets sick again.”  
Blake told her holding up a plastic throw up container. Luckily she hadn’t thrown up since they left the house. No sooner had they been called back to get some info she threw up.   
“It’s ok honey we will get it cleaned up.”  
Someone came in to clean up the mess as the nurse walked in with something to wipe her face and rinse out her mouth.  
“You are a lucky girl tonight we do not have many people here so we are going to take you to the back as soon as we finish here.”  
Three hours later they were pulling up in the driveway at home. All of the tests came back good. I appeared that Amara had snuck in and eaten an entire bag of red Swedish fish. All of the sugar made her sick and the red dye from the candy made it look like blood.   
“I’ll carry in the candy monster.”  
“I can’t believe she did that, I was so scared.”  
“Me too, baby”  
“Tomorrow when she gets up we are going to have to have a stern talk with her about this.”  
Gwen looked over at Blake and saw the look on his face and laughed.  
“What are you laughing at?”  
“You, you still can’t stand the thought of having to reprimand her.”  
“Does it get easier?”  
“Yes and no, sometimes she will look at you will those big blue eyes and it will break your heart. You just have to remember that you are doing it to help her.”  
Blake carried Amara into the house and put her in bed. He stood by her bed just looking at her. Gwen walked in and found him like this ten minutes later.  
“Is everything ok?”  
She whispered  
“Yeah, I’m coming.”  
She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him from behind.  
“When she was first born, I would watch her sleep all the time. I couldn’t believe that this precious perfect baby was mine.”  
He loved how she always seemed to know what he was thinking.  
“I just love her so much.”  
“I know and you are wonderful with her.”  
They turned to leave her room and head to theirs. When they got there Blake stopped her.  
“Gwen when things calm down with Amara and she is on the mend, can we talk about having another baby?”  
“I’d like that.”  
He leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss on her lips.  
“I’m going to take a shower”  
She told him before walking towards the bathroom. She stopped at the entrance and turned to give him a playful look.  
“Care to join me?”  
She didn’t have to ask twice he followed her to the bathroom where they slowly undressed each other before walking under the hot spray of the shower. He took her mouth in a hot hungry kiss devouring her. He knew he would never get enough of the taste of her. He backed her up to the shower wall and lifted her so she was straddling him. When he pulled back from her lips to move his mouth down her neck she moaned out in pleasure. She sucked on her neck leaving a mark he would think about tomorrow. Tonight he didn’t want to think he only wanted to feel. To feel her falling apart in his arms. To feel her coming around him, to feel what it was like to have the most beautiful woman inside and out at his mercy. He positioned himself and entered her, in on fluid movement he was buried deep inside of her.  
“YES BLAKE!”  
Gwen screamed out. He started moving inside of her. When he could tell she was close he slowed down, before increasing the speed again trying to make this last as long as he could.   
“NOW!”  
She screamed.  
“What do you want baby?”  
“Make me cum.”  
He moved his hand down to her clit and began rubbing it with his thumb while moving even faster inside of her.  
“GOD BLAKE!”  
She screamed as she came around him. The feel of her clinching around him was all it took to send him over the edge with him. He came fast and hard in her screaming out her name. When they both started breathing normally they finished their shower and climbed into bed and fell asleep in each other’s arms.  
The rest of the week was spend preparing for the party. By Friday night everything was done that could be before Sunday.   
“What do you think about us taking Amara and doing a family fun day tomorrow?”  
Blake asked Gwen that night as they were putting up the last of the laundry.   
“I think that’s a great idea.”  
“What would you like to do?”  
“She loves the zoo and the aquarium but I hate to have her around so many people right now.”  
“That will not be a problem soon.”  
“She loves the water maybe we could take her on a boat ride?”  
“That’s perfect, does she like to fish?”  
“She has never been, but if she is fishing with you I am sure she would love it.”  
Blake pulled up his phone and started looking online for charter fishing expeditions. He found one that would take them out for three hours in the morning. After that they would go have lunch at the restaurant of Gwen’s choosing.  
Amara was so excited try fishing with her daddy. Gwen was content to be out on the open water enjoying the California weather before it got too cold. Blake was excited to show his princess how to fish.   
Gwen watched from under the canopy as Blake help Amara cast her line. She loved seeing her man and their baby having fun together. Some of her favorite times at home are when she is in her office working with the door opened and she can hear them down the hall playing or watching a movie and getting excited together. She had brought a book to read but she spent the next hour just relaxing and enjoying the peacefulness of the day. She was pulled out of her daze by the sound of Blake and Amara.  
Amara had gotten a fish and Blake was helping her reel it in. They were both so excited she couldn’t help but go over to where they were to join in the fun. When they got the fish out and held it up she couldn’t tell which one was prouder Amara or Blake.  
“Hold it up Amara and I will get a picture of you with your fish.”  
She held up the fish which measured out to be 21 inches long. Gwen got a picture of her with her fish alone and one with her and Blake. When the two of them went back to fishing Gwen set back down and realized that she didn’t have many pictures of Blake with Amara. Sure she had taken a few when Dot was there, but she wanted more. She spent the rest of the time taking some candid shots of the two of them and a couple of her and Blake and her and Amara. The captain of the boat they chartered took one of the three of them together.  
Gwen looked up at Blake  
“Our first family picture of the three of us.”  
“The first of many to come.”  
Amara had picked a burger place for lunch. Gwen knew it was mostly because of the milkshakes they have there. While they were eating Amara looked at her parents.  
“When are we getting married?”  
“Well honey, you know that not all mommies and daddy’s are married.”  
“But I heard Grandma tell Grandpa that she hopped the wedding would be soon since you are living with each other.”  
Gwen opened her mouth to speak but Blake interrupted.  
“Actually Amara I agree with you. It’s a shame your mom and I are not married yet.”  
“Blake.”  
“Listen Gwen she’s right, we should be married. In fact”  
He began taking a jewelry box out of his pocket.  
“I had planned to do this a little different but”  
He continued opening the box to reveal a gorgeous 6 caret tiffany cut diamond ring in yellow gold.  
“Gwen I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”  
“YES!”  
Amara screamed making them both laugh.  
“Princess I’m glad you ok with it but your mom has to answer this questions.”  
“Answer him mommy”  
“I would love to marry you Blake.”  
Sunday morning they all work up still excited about the engagement.  
“Do we get to tell everyone today?”  
Amara asked  
“I think so, we will tell them at the party”  
“But Grandma, and Grandpa, and papa, and Aunt Endy, and Uncle Mike won’t be here.”  
“Then we will call them and let them know then we can tell everyone else this afternoon.”  
“Ok”  
Amara told them running off. She came back a few minutes later with Blake’s phone.   
“Here daddy Grandma is on the phone?”  
He just looked at Gwen and shook his head.   
“Hey mom how are you?”  
“I’m good son, but I am curious to know what this really really good news is that you and Gwen want to tell me.”  
“Yes Amara is very excited.”  
“Well what is it?”  
He walked over to Gwen and wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her into his side.  
“We are getting married.”  
“That is wonderful I am so happy for both of you. I can’t wait for you to be officially my daughter Gwen.”  
“Thank you Dot.”  
The three of them made the calls to the other family members and they were all just as excited. They continued to get ready for the party with Dennis and Patti showing up early to help.  
Gwen walked into the kitchen where Patti was just finishing putting the cookies on a tray with help from Amara.  
“So what is this big secret that you have to tell us?”  
Gwen looked over at Amara with a questioning look.  
“I didn’t tell her mommy I promise.”  
“She didn’t tell me what it was just that you had a big surprise for us.”  
“Amara why don’t you go help Daddy and Grandpa outside.”  
“OK”  
The little girl said getting down and going out the back door.  
“We were going to wait until everyone was here to tell you.”  
“Ok honey”  
Gwen carried out a platter of hamburgers to Blake so he could start cooking. She was pleased to see that everyone was already there. As she walked over to the grill and set the platter down she leaned into Blake’s side.  
“Amara told mom that we have a big surprise for everyone.”  
“At least we know she likes the idea of us getting married.”  
Blake told her with a grin.  
“I just don’t know how much longer we can expect her to go without busting out with the secret.”  
“Why don’t we tell them now? You go get your mom and I will put these on the grill.”  
“Ok”  
When Gwen returned with Patti Blake was standing with the others. She walked over to him and Amara.  
“Everyone we have something we would like to tell you.”  
Blake began  
“Yesterday I asked Gwen to marry me and she said yes.”  
There were cheers and applause from everyone. Each person there was happy for them, giving them congratulations. The rest of the afternoon was great they were able to have fun and enjoy everyone’s company. It was just what they needed before checking in to the hospital the next morning.


	11. Transplant Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left of this part. I am working on a sequel though.

The checked into the specialty center early Monday morning. They knew that there had some long days ahead of them where they would likely go stir crazy. To help alleviate that they had brought games, books, movies, coloring books and anything else they could think of to keep Amara content. Gwen had brought her work she really hadn’t been able to get a lot done lately. Blake had started to suggest that she could quit since he could easily afford to support them, but he knew how much she loved designing.   
The first couple of days went well, but by the third day Amara was getting anxious to get out. That led to them having to get creative with things to do to make her happy. It was challenging at times but they made it through the first week. The start of the second week meant it was time for Amara to begin a medical routine that would kill her remaining immune system. They were fortunate that she had such a low immune system so that meant less time on the chemo this time. Blake also had to do some medical tests and preparation to be ready for them to harvest the bone marrow. That week was a rough one, Amara got so week that they started to get worried. The doctor assured them that she was ok and that it was normal during this part of the process.  
Two days before the scheduled procedure they received a happy phone call and it was just what they all needed.  
“Hey Dad what’s up?”  
“I just wanted to call and let you know that you are an Uncle.”  
“That’s great how is everyone doing?”  
“Wonderful your sister said she is going to facetime all of you when she gets a chance so she can introduce Ryan to her new family.”  
“That’s great tell her we love her and will talk to her soon.”  
Blake hung up and went into the bedroom where Gwen and Amara where.  
“Dad just called Endy had her baby?”  
“Blakes that’s wonderful is everyone ok?”  
“Yes”  
“I want to see my cousin.”  
Blake kneeled down by the bed  
“You will soon, Endy is going to facetime us later.”  
Two hours later Endy made the promised call.  
“Hey sis.”  
“Blake how is Amara doing?”  
“Shes weak and tired but this is going to cheer her up.”  
“Where is she?”  
“Right here”  
He told her sitting on the bed besides her holding the phone up so her.  
“Aunt Endy, where’s Ryan?”  
“She right here”  
She told her holding the bundle up so that everyone could see her  
“She’s soo beautiful. I love you Ryan.”  
“She really is beautiful Endy”  
“Thanks Gwen we thinks so.”  
“How big is she?”  
“Six pounds nine ounces and 19 inches long.”  
“That’s not too bad.”  
“No not at all I will take it all three of us were bigger so no I have sympathy for mom.”  
Gwen laughed  
“Yes this one here took after her father for sure. She was eight pounds three ounces and 21 inches long.”  
“Blake you owe that woman, that’s a huge baby.”  
“Mommy says I was big but I was worth it.”  
“I know you were sweetheart.”  
Endy told her  
They talked for a few more minutes before hanging up.   
“Mommy when do we get to go see Aunt Endy and Ryan?”  
“Im sorry honey but we won’t be able to for a while, but don’t forget when your better daddy is going to take us to Oklahoma and you will get to see them then.”  
“Ok”  
She said before laying back down and going to sleep.  
The following Tuesday morning it was time for the procedure. Dot had flown in to be with them. She set in the waiting room with Patti and Gwen. It wasn’t a difficult procedure but it would be a long one. They would hook Blake up to a machine that would withdraw blood then it would go through a machine that would remove the marrow from the blood before returning it to his body. Once that was done they would inject the bone marrow into Amara. She would then start growing healthy blood cells. It would take some time before her body had produced the new blood cells and her immune system was built back up. They would need to stay in the hospital for a couple of weeks before she could go home. After that she would need to stay inside with limited contact with others for anywhere from two to four weeks.   
Gwen was sitting between Dot and Patti in the waiting room holding each of their hands.   
“Gwen honey it’s a simple procedure why don’t you try to relax some.”  
Patti told her  
“I know it is, but what if it doesn’t work?”  
“It will work Gwen, you have to have faith.”  
“Gwen that little girl in there is a fighter she will get through this and she will not have to worry about getting sick with leukemia again.”  
“Thanks Dot, Im trying hard to believe it but if anything happened to her I couldn’t go on.”  
“Yes you would”  
Dot told her solemnly  
“Dot I’m so sorry I wasn’t thinking about Richie.”  
“Its ok Gwen, I was the toughest thing I have every gone through, but I made it because I had too many other people that loved me and needed me. You would too if you had to, but nothing is going to happen to that little girl.”  
“I remember Blake crying for months. I didn’t know what to do to help him I just knew I had to be a good friend to him. That’s when I started to fall in love with him.”  
“Yes you Stefani’s helped get us through that time. Just being able to talk to you Patti no matter what kind of day I was having I could talk to you and you listened and always knew just what I needed to hear.”  
“I miss being able to come and see you anytime for lunch or just to talk.”  
Patti told her.   
“We will just have to make up for it with lots of phone calls and visits.”  
As they continued to wait they talked about old times at home in Oklahoma. Finally after what felt like an eternity they came out and got them.   
“Everything went really good they are both just resting now. If you would like I can take the three of you back to see them.”  
The nurse told them. They immediately followed getting washed up and in gowns and caps to minimize exposure. They also had to have their temperatures taken. Once they were ready they were shown to the room where Blake and Amara were.  
Gwen walked over to Blake and gave him a kiss before turning to Amara. Patti was leaning down to talk to her.  
“How’s my sweet girl doing?”  
“Im tired Grandma”  
“Ok then why don’t you get some rest after you say hello to your other grandma.”  
“OK”  
She turned to Dot  
“Hey Grandma I love you.”  
“I love you to honey.”  
She closed her eyes after that so Gwen just walked over and gave her a kiss on her forehead. Amara gave a content sigh before falling asleep. They all turned back to Blake after that.  
“How are you doing son?”  
“Im good a little tired but it’s getting better.”  
“Why don’t Dot and I go and let you get some rest. We can make the phone calls to the rest of the family and I would like to have lunch with my friend like we use to. We will come back later to see you.”  
“Ok thanks both of you.”  
“Take good care of them Gwen even that stubborn one over there.”  
Patti said pointing to Blake  
“I promise.”  
She told them giving each of them a hug. She turned back to Blake.  
“You’re sure you’re ok?”  
“I’m fine honey, all they did was take some blood. Hell they didn’t even keep it they gave it back after they got the marrow out.”  
Gwen laughed as she walked over to the bed they had Blake resting on and set down beside him.  
“Come here.”  
He told her urging her to sit in the bed beside him. She took his hand in hers and they both watch their precious little girl sleep. It didn’t take long before Blake feel asleep too. She was glad she knew that his body needed rest over the next couple of day to get him back to normal. She needed him back to normal because soon they were going to be taking care of a little girl who was going to get cranky having to spend so much time inside.   
She stayed there right beside him while he slept thinking about all of the things they had to look forward to. Once Amara was feeling better they had a wedding to plan. After that hopefully if God blessed them another baby. She also knew that Blake wasn’t going to be content forever to not be working. Maybe they could find a place where he could keep some horses and work them. They had decided to stay in LA, they didn’t want to move Amara right now, and Gwen’s job was here. She couldn’t wait to get her baby home and well so they could start with all the great things they had planned for their future.  
Amara slept the rest of the day and night only waking up when they needed to check on her. She wouldn’t even wake up enough to eat so the doctor made that one of her bags of fluid had supplements in it. He told them not to worry this was normal.   
Sure enough the next morning Amara woke up hungry. She had pancakes, bacon, some fruit and milk.   
“These are good daddy but yours are better.”  
She told him. Since she was awake more and moving they removed the catheter from her and stopped the IV fluids. That afternoon they were able to go back to their regular rooms. Amara was doing great so far everything look perfect. They would start running some tests in a couple of days. She was still tired but that was to be expected.  
Blake was already back to normal and just like Gwen was ready to get out of there. They knew they had to stay for Amara but they were both going stir crazy after two and a half weeks in there.   
The first test results came back very positive. Her body showed no signs of rejecting the marrow. They were all so excited, Patti brought Amara’s favorite cookies for them to celebrate with.   
Over the next week and a half Amara continued to get stronger and her tests all showed the transplant had been a complete success and the new cells were starting to grow. The doctor released them to go home, but they had to keep Amara inside, keep visitors to a minimum, if either of them started to feel like they could possibly be sick they needed to stay away from her. They had to take her temperature every day to be on the safe side. The slightest illness would be magnified in her.   
Patti and Dennis cleaned their house from top to bottom for them. They stocked the fridge and pantry so they wouldn’t need to go out right away. Todd had brought Amara some new video games she could play to keep her occupied. Endy and Mike had sent her a new toy horse for her princesses to ride and Dick had sent her a princess doll house to play with. Amara loved her new gifts, she called each one to thank them.   
That night when they tucked her into bed and she said her prayers she thanked God for giving her so many people that love her. Blake and Gwen’s hearts melted at that. Yes their princess was loved, they both loved her more than anything.


	12. When you whole world is spinning

“Ok Amara it’s time to check your temperature again.”  
Gwen told her coming into the room where she was playing one of her new video games.  
“When do we get to stop doing that?”  
They had been home for three weeks and all the test kept coming back with great results. The doctor was very impressed with her results. While she still had a long way to go she was on the right path.   
“When the doctor tells us we can.”  
“Ok”  
She told her opening her mouth. When the thermometer beeped Gwen took it out expecting to find a normal temperature. When she looked down she noticed that it was 98.3 degrees. Her normal temperature is 97.9. It wasn’t very high but the doctor had told them to call about any sign of fever. She hated to bother him but she decided to make the call.  
Blake walked in the room when she was on the phone with the doctor. After she hung up he looked at her concerned.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Amara has a slight fever, I didn’t think it was anything but I wanted to call since he told us to.”  
“What did he say?”  
“He said to check it again in an hour and see where it was. If it’s gone up to 99 he wants to see her right away if its back down he said not to worry, if it’s the same or has only gone up slightly he said to keep checking every hour. He also said not to give her anything for the fever because he wants accurate results.”  
“Ok so there is probably nothing to worry about. You know she is doing well and she probably hasn’t been resting as much.”  
“Im sure your right.”  
They both wanted to believe it but they were both worried as well.  
The next hour went by slowly. When it was time to check again Amara complained that she had just had it checked. When the thermometer beeped they both looked down. It was only 98.6 but they were both getting really worried.  
Blake pulled Gwen to the side so Amara couldn’t hear them.  
“It’s going up I think we need to call the doctor again just to be safe.”  
Gwen nodded in agreement. She picked up her phone and called the doctor’s office again.  
“This is Gwen Stefani again, I know he said he didn’t need to see her unless it went up to 99, but in the last hour it has gone from 98.3 to 98.6. I really starting to worry she hasn’t been over 97.9 since she came home.”  
“Ok Ms. Stefani left me talk to the doctor hold on please.”  
“Ok, thank you”  
“Shes going to talk to the doctor.”  
She told Blake. In a couple of minutes she was back on the line.  
“Ms. Stefani, the doctor said to go ahead and bring her in just to be on the safe side. I’ll let the front desk know as soon as she gets here to bring her to a room in the back so she want be around other people.”  
“Ok, we are on our way.”  
“He wants to see her just to make sure.”  
She told Blake. The got Amara in the car and drove to the doctor’s office faster than they should have. They knew they were probably over reacting and she just had a small bug that some medicine would take care of but they still worried about her.  
When they arrived just like the nurse had promised they were taken to the back to a sterile room. Fortunately the office wasn’t that busy and the doctor came in to see them soon after they arrived.  
“Hey Amara how are you feeling?”  
“Im ok.”  
“Good, Mom, Dad how has this one been acting today?”  
“She’s been fine she ate breakfast well then she played a video game.”  
“She hasn’t acted sick?”  
“No, we haven’t noticed anything other than the fever.”  
“Well that’s a good sign. Amara, Im going to look at your throat ok?”  
She nodded. The doctor checked her throat, ears, lymph nodes, and listened to her chest.  
“It looks like she might have a slight ear infection. I want to run another test to make sure.”  
The both breathed a sigh of relief. An ear infection wasn’t that bad some antibiotics and she would be fine. One the doctor had performed the test and given them the results they were on their way home with an antibiotic. The doctor said the fever may go up some in the next twenty four hours while the medicine is getting in her system, but not to worry that was normal. He did tell them if it got to 101 to bring her back immediately. The rest of that day her fever crawled up a little but I never made it over 99.9. The next morning when they checked on her she was not feeling well. They both assumed it was from the infection, so they were shocked when they took her temperature and it was up to 101.1.   
“Ok Gwen you get her dressed, I’ll call the doctor.”  
After the phone call Blake came back into the room to find Gwen putting Amara’s shoes on.  
“The doctor is at the hospital working on a couple of procedures. The nurse said to take her to the emergency room immediately and she would page him.”  
Blake picked her up and carried her to the car with Gwen following behind. When they arrived at the hospital Gwen took her in while Blake parked. When he came in he didn’t see them so he asked the receptionist about them.  
“Yes Mr. Stefani they have been taken to the back since she is recovering from a transplant.”  
She told Blake where to find them, then pushed the button letting him to the back. He went straight to them.   
“What have they said?”  
“Nothing much just that the nurse called to tell them what was happening and that her doctor should be here soon.”  
They waited twenty minutes before the doctor showed up.  
“Her temperature has come up even more since you took it at home. This may still be the ear infection, but I want to make sure. For now the most important thing is going to be getting this fever down. I’m ordering some medicine now for her and then I want to admit her so we can get to the bottom of this.”  
After the doctor left the nurse came in and gave Amara some medicine to help with the fever. She told Blake and Gwen that they were working on getting her into a room but for now to just let her rest and try to get some water into her while the medicine had time to work.  
It look an hour before they had her moved to her own room. When they got her there they took her temperature again.  
“It’s not gone up, but it’s not going down either. The doctor should be by soon and we will see what he want to do.”  
The nurse told them.   
“Im going to call our parents and let them know what we do.”  
Blake told Gwen giving her a kiss on her forehead before walking over to Amara and doing the same. Blake walked down the hall and made the necessary phone calls. When he came back the doctor was talking to Gwen. Blake smiled at his princess before walking over to where they were talking.  
“We need to get her fever down the medicine hasn’t helped yet but it’s not going up bad, I am going to have them give her some Tylenol now to see if that helps. I have looked at her ears and the infection seems to be getting worse. I think at this point we need to switch her to an IV antibiotic so it can get in her quicker.”   
“Did we do something wrong? Did we not keep her far enough away from everyone?”  
Blake asked  
“No Blake this is not something she would have caught from anyone else. They are going to monitor the fever through the night and start the IV. I will be back to check in tomorrow.”  
“Thank you.”  
The doctor left the room and Gwen walked straight into Blake’s arms. He wrapped them around her and held her tight before whispering to her.  
“Everything will be ok.”  
They walked back over to Amara who was watching them to see what was going on.   
“Well baby girl it looks like we are going to stay here for a couple of days while they give you some medicine to make you better.”  
“I talked to both your Grandma’s and your Grandpa Dick and they said to tell you they love you so much.”  
He turned to Gwen  
“Patti said she is going to go by the house and pick up a change of clothes for us.”  
Late that afternoon Patti brought by the clothes and something for them to eat.   
“How is my precious girl doing?”  
She asked Amara.  
“I feel sick grandma she told her with a yawn.”  
“I know baby, why don’t you get some rest so you will feel better.”  
Amara nodded and closed her eyes.  
“How is she doing?”  
“The fever is inching up not going down, they are watching it closely.”  
Her breath hitched.  
“Honey what is it?”  
“Im scared mom really scared I am trying to be brave for her but I feel like there is something more.”  
“Have they said anything?”  
“No its just a feeling, I can tell Blake feels it too.”  
“Ok well until we have something more to worry about we are just going to do what we can. We can pray for her and talk care of ourselves.”  
“When was the last time you ate anything?”  
“I had some coffee a little bit ago.”  
“I mean real food?”  
“Last night we haven’t been hungry today.”  
“Gwen Renee Stefani you need to eat where is Blake?”  
“He walked out to take a call from Endy.”  
Just then Blake walked back in the room.  
“Hey Patti thank you for bringing us some stuff.”  
“I also brought you something to eat and before you tell me you are not hungry I don’t want to hear it. You and Gwen are going to sit down over there and eat the meal I brought you. You need to keep up your strength so you can take care of your daughter.”  
“Yes ma’am”  
Patti stayed until they finished eating. Later that evening Gwen noticed that Amara was shivering.  
“Are you cold honey?”  
“Yes”  
Gwen walked over to cover her with another blanket and noticed that she was burning up. She called for the nurse. Her temperature had skyrocketed, they packed her in ice to try and bring it down. No matter what they did through the night they could not get it down. The next morning the doctor changed the antibiotic fearing she wasn’t responding to it. He also ran some more test which brought even worse news. The infection in her ears was spreading, that was why they couldn’t get the fever under control. They were still alternating Tylenol with Motrin for the fever along with the ice, that and the stronger antibiotic should help.   
The next morning she was worse not better. The doctor was at a loss as to what to do. Nothing they tried was bringing the fever down and the infection was getting worse not better. He called in another doctor for a second opinion. Blake and Gwen were beside themselves with worry.   
The second doctor wasn’t sure what to do either. He body was not reacting to the medicine and the high fever was causing other issues. They ran some more tests and change the medicine again. When the doctor walked in the next day he had a look of his face that made Gwen want to throw up.   
“Can I speak with both you outside please?”  
They got up and walked outside terrified of what was coming.  
“The test results show that her body is shutting down. I’m so sorry but her illness and treatment have just been too much for her.”  
“What are you saying?”  
Blake asked feeling like his entire world was ending.  
“She is dying.”  
“OH GOD NO!”  
Gwen screamed. Blake stunned grabbed her to him and they cried together for a few minutes. When they had stopped they made the phone calls no one ever wants to make. They called there family to come say goodbye to Amara.  
Blake’s family arrived that afternoon and joined Gwen’s family. No one had told Amara that she was dying they just couldn’t bring themselves to do it. Late that evening after saying everyone had left Gwen and Blake walked out into the hall to speak to the doctor again.  
“She doesn’t have much time left her body is giving up. Spend every second that you can with her. “  
As they turned to walk back into Amara’s room Blake stopped for a minute. He motioned for Gwen to go ahead he needed a minute to himself. He needed time to prepare himself to do the hardest thing he would every have to do. He had to go in that room and tell his princess goodbye.


End file.
